Making Him Known

Aldi Joe's

2012-02-02T04:19:00.001-08:00

One of the things I said I would look for in my consideration of a place to call home in moving back to the US was a city with two specific stores: (1) IKEA, in order to get great home decor for cheap, and (2) Trader Joe's, for their amazing quality in both food/prices and service! Well....Quincy is nome to neither. And so, letting my heart settle in has taken a little "re-djustment" in terms of expectations. One of the fun parts of my week is my trip to our local little grocery store chain, known as Aldi. Aldi is known for selling it's own brand of many popular products at a cheaper price than competitors, while still maintaining the quality of the products it sells. So, although it's no Trader Joe's, it has a similar feel about it.

ALDI... small little Midwest store where:
-- you pay a quarter to "use" their cart (which upon return of the cart you get your 25 cent deposit back...)
-- the aisles are narrow and so you find yourself bumping into people all over the place
-- you are encouraged to bring your own bags in to use for bagging groceries
-- every week you find various AMAZING deals on produce (like the sale on baby carrots last week, for 39 cents per bag. Yeah, I bought like 5 bags!)
-- after your first few trips in you begin to know all the workers by name

So, I call it my Trader Joe knock off...or, maybe we could just term it Aldi Joe's! It might be a lame attempt to find ways to love this little town of Quincy that I'm beginning to settle in to, but I guess if that's what it takes, bring it on! Now, if only I could find a comparable substitute for the lack of an IKEA store...

it's the end of....

2011-12-27T08:56:00.000-08:00

It's the end of 2011 as I know it. Ok, just the end of 2011 in general, now just the way I know it. Yesterday was a hard day, as I had some downtime to just ponder life and the journey that 2011 has brought and a huge part of me felt so ready to say goodbye to 2011 and to jump into 2012, with hopes for all the good things it might have in store. But honestly, 2011 has been a good journey. So many twists and turns, lots of great moments, some really life defining moments. Filled with both tears and laughter. One of the end of the year activities that a dear friend of mine once told me she chooses to engage in each December is to read through her journal from the past year, letting her heart be reminded of all the events that had transpired in her life that year. I think that will be a "tradition" I need to jump into this year's end. And in that, to keep my heart focused on the big picture that sometimes I can lose sight of in the midst of the every day. There have certainly been moments when I want to jump into something new, and grow more excited about the possibility of what's to come, than the reality of what is. It seems that somehow God keeps bringing me back to the events of the here and now that are part of His grand story, reminding me to walk in step with His Spirit today. It's so much easier to try to think and dream of new adventures, rather than choosing to be present to the leading of His voice for what He is asking today, but I know that James strongly urges us to hold tomorrow at arm's length because we don't even know if tomorrow will come. So my prayer for this end of 2011 is to stay present to what IS today and to trust God for tomorrow if tomorrow does come. I'm not afraid to ponder possibility, but I don't want that to be what drives me, or what my heart thrives for. Instead, I will cling to the wisdom of the reminder in Proverbs16:9:
"In his heart a man plans his course, but the LORD determines his steps."

*So Jesus, I invite you into the midst of my plans and ask for you to clearly determine my steps*

a family affair

2011-12-19T06:31:00.000-08:00

Awww, so much family time these days! I guess that's one of the greatest joys of the holiday season. I'm a sucker for family gatherings - maybe because I've lived away from the fam for so many years that I have learned to treasure every moment, or maybe just because its so dang fun when we are all together. As the family grows, things just get crazier. Lots of loud conversation, much laughter, and kiddos running everywhere. Why does this have to be limited to 2 months a year? Can't we have a major holiday every month to give us a reason to gather and celebrate? I guess one of the blessings of having the whole clan in one city makes room for the possibility of family events all through the year!

as the body functions

2011-12-08T06:14:00.000-08:00

Last week I awoke feeling a little blah, but in spite of the weary feeling, I pushed forward and headed out to meet a friend for a morning run we had planned the night before. Those first few steps out the door confirmed my hesitancy to go, but I still ignored the warnings and kept moving through the motions. An hour later, I pulled myself up the stairs, run complete, but my body feeling overwhelmingly exhausted and chilled. I kept wondering what the heck was wrong with me, and tried to rally and push through the activities of my day, but each moment felt groggier and more miserable. It took me until mid-afternoon before I finally admitted that I was getting sick and deciding to slow down. My mom invited me out to hang out for the evening, and knowing that my parents have an awesome jacuzzi, I took her up on the offer to come relax. I cancelled the plans I had made for that night and instead chose to rest, which my body was screaming for. I fell into bed early, feverish and achy, with most of the blah feeling in the pit of my stomach. I couldn't figure out if I had just eaten something wrong, but I knew it needed to go. And after a good night sleep and a few trips to the bathroom, I awoke the next morning feeling 900 times better. That was it...a beautiful picture of how the body is supposed to operate. I either ate something wrong, or caught a little bug, but as soon as the foreign entity was recognized in my body, everything went into full attack mode. Achy body, fever to sweat it out, stomach pains, the whole 9 yards. My body started to shut down (in spite of my efforts to fight against the reality, it finally won out) in order to attack this unknown entity and rid itself of such. Waalah, the result was restoration and renewal. I couldn't have been more thankful for coming full circle and feeling my "normal" self return.
I couldn't help but think about how this so connects with what is supposed to happen within the "body of Christ" when we see illness enter into the lives of one of the members. James 5:14 addresses the way the body is supposed to operate in response to sickness. "Is any one of you sick? He should call the elders of the church to pray over him and anoint him with oil in the name of the Lord." It happens -- sin enters our lives (which for those who know Christ, sin IS that foreign entity!) and next thing you know, it starts to shut us down. We can try to ignore it and move on through out normal routine, but eventually, it takes root and starts to overcome all of our best efforts to go forward. These instructions are pretty clear in the need for others to step in and help to fight against the illness. I remember a great teacher once sharing that often in the midst of these spiritually sick times, we may feel unable to pray and fight against this ourselves, hence the instruction to call on others for help. The elders are identified leaders in the church specifically directed at identifying and meeting the needs of the people of God. House doctors so to speak. Call in the cells of the body that are functioning in full health, and begin the fight to attack this foreign illness. Praying until there is breakthrough and then anointing this member of the body with oil to bring them back to a place of belief and strength in the ability to live free from what had a stronghold on them. I can't help but think that after my appetite returned, all I wanted was good, life-giving foods, fruits and vegetables, ready to find full health and restoration. No room for the presence of this illness to return. The same is needed in the spiritual realm. That's the way the body is supposed to operate when functioning properly. And yet, so often we just try to take a little medicine and try to ignore the issue. So body, are we ready? When the attack comes, let's gear up, surround the nastiness, attack it with prayer, and get ourselves back up and standing on both of our feet!

the holiday season

2011-11-21T07:44:00.000-08:00

ok, I'm excited...3 more days until Thanksgiving, which means:

1.) Macy's Day parade
2.) Helping mom cook up a delightful feast
3.) Enjoying a delicious cup of eggnog
4.) Loads of laughter with family and friends
5.) Watching football and family game night fun

and, today is one of those dreary, brisk days that brings on the mood for the holiday season.
this year, I think I am most thankful for just getting to really dive into celebrating the holidays!

frilly little frock

2011-11-11T14:40:00.000-08:00

My sister-in-law bought me a lovely little apron for my birthday this year -- it's so cute and it's one of those things that makes me happy whenever I slip it over my head. I think that's because whenever I do put it on, it means that I'm gonna be doing some serious cooking. Last night was one of those times, since I made dinner for my small group. I whipped up some delicious Thai dishes -- a yellow curry and cashew nut chicken. It was a bit of work, but well worth it to share the goodness with what are fast becoming great friends. It's funny because I have found that cooking is becoming one of those things that is filling my days more often recently. I think it's because cooking at home is just much more affordable and "the norm" here in the States than what I grew accustomed to with cheap, delicious food available on every street corner in Thailand. The only cheap, quick food that one can pick up here is not exactly the most nutritious option. So, the only option for good food is to make it yourself or spend a good chunk of change to go out for a nice meal. As much as it was nice to not have to worry about prepping and cooking meals the past few years, there's something enjoyable about getting to put my creative juices to work in regards to mixing up different recipes. I have found that since my return from Thailand, my pallet is alot more diverse and the normal dinner fare doesn't do it for me anymore. The more exotic the mix, the more delighted I am to try it. Tacos and spagetthi have lost their excitement, but if I can add a twist of some sort, I'm all game. Fish tacos with green salsa, bring it on. Spagetthi sauce infused with pumpkin and curry spice, um, yes please! I think my tango with the plethora of international foods that I've dined on the past few years has made me just want to keep the food adventures rolling. I think that a little like the travel bug, where the more of the world you see, the more you want to see, the foodie bug is one that doesn't ever get completely satisfied either. The more things I try and learn to love, the more I want to try and new twists I am intrigued to invent!
However, I still love the taste of a good meal prepared by someone else, or when I'm really hungry, even a quick bite from a fast food restaraunt will do the trick. So in quest of hanging up the 'ole apron tonight, I'm headed out to meet the family for dinner out on the town

the catch 22

2011-10-31T08:51:00.000-07:00

I've found myself getting used to the cold, and actually learning to accept the reality that it's going to be a part of life as I know it for awhile. I am still dreaming of warmer days ahead, and in that have found recent conversations with God concerning the "what's to come" involving some talk about if maybe that could be in a place where warmer weather was more of a norm (yeah, that's purely selfish, but you know, God often finds ways to include sweet gifts in the ways that He calls us, so maybe that would be part of it....it sure doesn't hurt to ask!)
The other day I looked at the temperature and realized that it was 49 degrees and thought "oh wow, that's not so bad." And then I found myself shaking my head and thinking, what in the world has happened to me; just a few months ago when I was adjusting back to life here, I found myself FREEZING when the temperature was down in the high 70s or low 80s and now I'm ok with the 40 degree temps. I guess part of the reality is that you just have to dress differently. I remember my dear friend Lacey telling me this ever so lovingly when I was visiting her a few years back in the midst of the frigid DC winters. She just reminded me that layers are oh so important in the battle to keep yourself warm. So I've been on the hunt to bulk up in regards to my winter wardrobe. Ok, bulk up isn't close to what I've been doing -- I really had to start from scratch since I haven't bought any cold weather clothes for quite awhile. And I find that even though I deeply despise cold weather, I sure do love cold weather fashion. I love leggings and boots and layering long sleeved shirts with fun sweaters and scarfs.
Is there a way to be able to get to sport cold weather fashion without having the cold weather to have to endure with it? Hmmm, somehow it doesn't seem to be very possible. I remember when the thought of even wearing pajama pants made me sweat, let alone trying to pull on a pair of boots in the midst of the crazy tropical heat. So, I guess if nothing else, I am thankful for some colder days for the excuse of getting to enjoy the fun fashion that goes with it.
And honestly, I sure to do enjoy lots of other fun cold weather things, like bonfires and hot apple cider, and snuggling up with a good book on a cold billowy night. So, I guess if I can keep the enjoyable things as the focus, I might be able to actually endure the crazy midwest winter days that are still to come!

"ideal"

2011-10-23T05:19:00.001-07:00

The question has arisen several times throughout this past week about what life would be like if it were ideal -- ideal job, preferred place to live, things I would love to be involved in, and so forth. And every time the question just stuns me, leaves me without an answer of any kind and a feeling of helplessness at how to arrive at figuring something like this out. Why is this so crazy hard to answer? Not because I don't have dreams about what could be, but more because I am that person who is way too realistic to allow dreams or idealistic thought to linger very long without connecting it with the reality of what is and how unlikely it is for everything in life to merge into the place where perfection is reached. I guess that is what heaven will be right? The moment when everything comes to be just as it should. But, I think that to keep hope alive and passion aroused, I have to learn to let my heart dream, to let desire stir me toward what's to come and even to choose to believe the truth of God's word for my life.

Jesus lived a life of purpose that could seem unattainable for what most people would believe possible for the average person, and yet he told his "average Joe" disciples, "whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these" (John 14:12). Even greater things!

That's what I'm hoping in for my life on earth...serving, loving, working, creating, all with deep purpose and power as I chose to believe in this promise!

the people we meet

2011-10-17T13:43:00.000-07:00

My heart is filled to overflowing as I think of all the amazing connections God has brought these past few weeks. The family connections never cease to amaze me as I meet more and more of His children who are in passionate for what God is up to around the world. The connections have popped up everywhere it seems...a girl who spent some of her summer in a girls rescue home in Cambodia, a couple who is in the midst of adopting from Ethiopia, a new friend who just returned from 3 months teaching in Guatemala, a family who has an Ethiopian daughter and will return to Ethiopia in a few months to continue work with the children's homes there, a couple who is stepping into what God is doing in the Middle East. The list goes on and on. One of my greatest fears in returning to the Midwest was that I would be lost in terms of connecting with people who who's hearts had been stirred toward what God is doing around the world. The things that God has shown me about his heartbeat the capital C "Church" is something that can't be quieted, and so as conversations have come that reveal this same open mind and passion for this idea is so exciting. I can't help but smile knowing that God's been doing the work that I was so afraid I wouldn't be able to make happen. He prepared the way for me to just jump in on what He's already up to. That's really the only way that it works -- He moves and I just join Him in His work!!

1/2 price Sunday delight

2011-10-10T08:08:00.000-07:00

Man, my heart has just been full, full, full...full of joy and excitement and wonder and well, yeah, just full. I am falling in love with Fall all over again. Gorgeous fall days, brilliant colors, crunchy leaves, apples and pumpkin galore. I'm currently sitting outside enjoying a perfect fall morning with a pumpkin spice latte in hand, and just realizing that these are the moments that reveal a little more of my heart and all that God has been unveiling in the midst of this journey to capture His heart. I am really loving that God is letting my heart settle in to all that He might have for this season in good 'ole Quincy...places to serve, new friendships to pursue, deeper understanding of Him and who I am in light of His work in me. Yesterday was a "full heart" day...a skype chat with Kristi, a great morning at church of worshipping and developing deeper connections within the body, an afternoon at mom and dad's reading and baking some bread, and then the discovery of all discoveries. We found that one of the little restaurants downtown has a 1/2 price special on Thai food every Sunday. I've been wanting to give this little restaurant a try for awhile, but just haven't made it happen, until my sister clued me in to this deal. Oh, it was delightful. Red curry with beef and pad thai...I think I had forgot how much I loved Thai food and realized just how much I missed it. I love that in God's call to place me here in Quincy, His huge kindness provided for my heart in giving me a place to stay connected with the piece of my heart that still is in love with Thailand. What a beautiful gift! So, If you've ever looking for me on a Sunday afternoon, you'll know where to find me!

If God doesn't show up, there is no Plan B

2011-09-08T16:37:00.000-07:00

Oh wow -- this has been a week! Seriously, a week of great adventure and learning and listening and seeking and, yeah the list could go on and on.
But, I'm so excited to write this post to give an update on my current life status and all that God has revealed to me through some of my own really hard-headed stubborn moments.

Aww, Quincy, Illinois. It's the place that I grew up, the place that my parents have remained (and most of my dad's family) and the place that I've returned to for holiday visits. But, it's not a place that I've called home for a long while, and swore that I would never find as home again. Ha, I guess God has a funny way of taking our "nevers" and making us realize that we may plan our path but God is the director of this play. And so, I'm sitting here, for the first time presenting to you Quincy, Illinois as home for me. Home for now, maybe not forever, but home.
The journey to get to that place where I can swallow my pride and humbly accept that this is where God has me has been a crazy one. I've felt my heart associating with Jonah and his run for Tarsish when God clearly sent him to Nineveh, with Paul when he speaks of praying about going to a specific place and hearing the Spirit forbid him for that place, and I clung to this verse that I memorized long ago (which popped to mind at just the right moment!! don't you love how scripture memory really is such a powerful tool in our moment of need!)
" Yes LORD, walking in the way of your law, we wait for you; your name and your renown are the desire of our hearts" (Isaiah 26:8)

I thought I could make plans to try to figure things out -- I put things into motion to try to head one way, and very clearly the Spirit was stirring a big NO in my heart. But, I couldn't logically accept the no, so I pushed forward. I just keep going through the motions in spite of the stirring and hesitations that were filling my heart. Justification of my "need" to do this, excuses for why this just had to be right, whatever it took, but I still couldn't shake God's stirring to stop making my plans and listen to the possibility that He might want me to just be -- be in Quincy, wait for Him to move me somewhere, accept the good things He could give me if I would just open my heart to Him. But, it took an 11 hour drive in the wrong direction, filled with nasty rain and lots of wrestling with the Spirit, and finally my gps just stopped working and that was the final moment of surrender. I lost it -- quite literally. I started crying, pulled over, made some phone calls to cancel all I had planned for "what's next" and turned the car around. It's crazy that feeling of peace that passes understanding, but every bit of my heart was overwhelmed with peace as I headed back to what life might hold in good 'ole Quincy, Illinois. And in every mile of the drive back the excitement just grew -- the dreams and opportunities that God had awaiting me.
So, I've spent the last few days apartment hunting and job searching and God has been so, so good to just speak and show up in some many amazing ways to remind me that He is good. His plan is good. He even wants to give me things to fulfill the deepest desires and passions of my heart. What a God we serve. Big, powerful, and filled with deep love.

So watch out Quincy, I'm here and I'm looking to my great God to fill this place with Himself. And well, I know He's going to show up in mighty power!

new car

2011-08-14T07:31:00.001-07:00

I purchased a new car about a week ago. It was a big decision for sure, which for a person like me who has trouble making decisions about even small things, it was definitely a stretch. But, I did it. And in the midst of the entire event (looking, test driving, going to the bank, signing the papers) I just kept hearing God ask me to trust Him. I still had moments of hesitation, and kept asking God whether or not I should make the purchase, and resoundingly, without fail, I kept hearing Him answer, "can you trust Me?" To which I could unhesitantly answer, "I trust you". And, I really felt that trust carry me through the entire decision and purchasing process. But, it didn't take long for my heart to begin to doubt and re-think the decision. Did I make a big mistake? What if I should have waited or looked around more? In the midst of my decision to trust, I let doubt creep in. Doubt in my ability to hear God correctly? Was it doubt that God had lead me astray? Or maybe it was a combo of the two. Somehow, in the midst of the need, I was committed to hearing God and following Him with wholehearted abandon. But suddenly, when I was a step removed from the moment of listening and responding, the wholehearted trust began to dwindle. Why couldn't I trust Him completely, not only in the moment of hearing from Him, but in the follow through of the ups and downs of my commitment to Him alone. I can't help but think of a very similar interaction between the Father, and the disciples in Mark 8. Here are the disciples, sitting in a boat far from any available "resource" of goods, and suddenly it hits them that they don't have enough food for everyone. Ok, I'll just let you read it how it's written, because I think it's pretty self-explanitory actually:

The disciples had forgotten to bring bread, except for one loaf they had with them in the boat. "Be careful," Jesus warned them. "Watch out for the yeast of the Pharisees and that of Herod." They discussed this with one another and said, "It is because we have no bread." Aware of their discussion, Jesus asked them: "Why are you talking about having no bread? Do you still not see or understand? Are your hearts hardened? Do you have yes but fail to see, and ears but fail to hear? And don't you remember? When I break the five loaves for the five thousand how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?" "Twelve," they replied. "And when I broke the seven loaves for the four thousand, how many basketfuls of pieces did you pick up?" They answered, "Seven." He said to them, "Do you still not understand?"

Hmmmm, sounds pretty familiar. In the moment of seeing Jesus provision, the disciples believed. He broke the bread and fish -- so of course they could trust in His power and provision. He gave food to all of this people and there was even food leftover, so of course He is worthy of belief. And they saw this amazing provision twice, in huge proportions, but still, here they were fretting over the fact that they had only one loaf of bread for all of them, and began to question whether or not they would have enough food. And in crept doubt and lack of trust. Not that they didn't trust Jesus, they could, but they chose instead to look at the circumstance over the absolute Provider. And so here comes Jesus, asking them to recount all the times He's provided, not just enough, but provided with a huge surplus leftover.
So, I'm reminded that I have a choice to make. Know His power, and choose to recount all of His amazing provision throughout my life as a reminder that He is trustworthy, or look at the situation and let the reality of life cause me to question whether or not it will all work out. It really all comes down to a choice. And, so as Beth Moore would say, put up those 5 fingers and repeat after me:
1. God is who He says He is
2. God can do what He says He can do
3. I am who God says I am
4. I can do all things in Christ
5. God's word is alive and active in me

I'm Believing God!

Chi-town

2011-08-07T07:37:00.000-07:00

It was such a gift to get to spend 3 days with a few of the youth from my church here in Quincy, doing some ministering in downtown Chicago. We left Thursday morning and spend the afternoon Thursday and all day Friday getting the word out about "the loft church" - a church plant in the heart of the city. We passed out flyers anywhere we could find people, and along the way looked for people who God would invite us to engage with and share about His great love. And people we did find. Some who we were able to speak to and share love with. Love that overflows from hearts that have been overwhelmed by the love of an amazing Savior.
Saturday we hung out at a huge park, hoping to invite kids and their families to have some carnival type fun. We set up a bounce house, had face painting and did our best at making balloon creations. The turnout was less than expected, but those who did come to have some fun, we're welcomed with open arms by the teens. I loved getting to jump in a serve, but so much more, to take the back seat and watch as these 9th and 10th graders let the power of the Holy Spirit take over in spite of fleshly fear or insecurity. The way that they grew in their confidence in Christ throughout the weekend was pretty powerful. Loving God, loving people, making disciples worldwide. It's the great adventure of this journey we are on!

she has arrived!

2011-07-31T08:21:00.000-07:00

My new niece made her grand entrance on Thursday night....Ayva Grace Pratt! I got to be in the delivery room for the birth and it was so beautiful. My sister is so amazing. She pushed this baby out with no drugs at all. Wow!

oh the dog days of summer

2011-07-24T07:23:00.000-07:00

The last few weeks have been filled with wonderful summer celebrations with family and friends....and crazy hot July days to go with them. I got to spend 4th of July in D.C. once again with my lovely friend Lacey (sadly, I don't have any pictures though) and then traveled south to celebrate the wedding of the lovely Mr. and Mrs. Mark and Carrie Twine! What an event it was. Waking up early for a ceremony on the beach, then helping host dear friends and family from her hometown for a little Cambodian style reception (complete with spicy green curry and iced coffee!). Then it was back to Illinois with preparations for a splendid little baby sprinkle for my sister, who will soon welcome baby #3, my first niece! So we invited close friends for a little luncheon to help gather lots of little girl items. Oh what fun! The same day, her family was given the keys to their new rental home, which meant that we celebrated the excitement of their new place, but also began a long 3 days of packing and moving, in the midst of 100 degree days. Wow! And to top it all off, my mom celebrated her 57th birthday on Monday, so we took her out for dinner and then had cake and ice cream with the whole family to let her know how much we love her. What a month it's been! And it's not over yet. My nephew Brayden's birthday is tomorrow, we're having a garage sale Saturday, and we're hoping to welcome new little 'Baby A' before the month is over (even though I'm guessing she might end up being an August baby...). Oh summer days, how I love thee.

The new Mr. and Mrs.!

Making little hair bows at the sprinkle.

Celebrating Nana's birthday....cupcakes and ice cream on the lawn.

Nana and the grands

America, the beautiful

2011-06-20T09:11:00.000-07:00

I've been in the US for almost 1 week exactly and I'm already feeling the "getting ready to head back to Bangkok" urge. It's a really wierd trying to wrap my mind around the thought that this place is HOME now...every time I've been home for the past 3 years its been for a short visit and then I'm headed back to the BKK. But, I'm here, for awhile at least, and it seems so surreal. I find myself thinking about all that I need/want to do when I get back to Thailand, or thoughts about what to purchase to take with me when I go back. I keep having to tell myself -- "You're not going anywhere..." every time these feelings show up.
I do still have a sense that I'll be going somewhere other than Quincy when I make myself "home" here, so I guess that the unsettledness is correct, but there are things I have to remind myself of:

- I don't have to carry toilet paper with my every where I go. Even crappy gas station bathrooms supply tp and soap!
- I don't have to get all the good American food you can, 'cause it's not going anywhere.
- Not owning a car isn't going to work for very long, because there aren't taxis and buses to take you anywhere and everywhere -- and walking to/from most places is nearly impossible...
- I will be able to find shoes and clothes in my size at almost every store I visit.

Oh, America, you really are beautiful, but I'm having trouble grasping the reality that I'm here to stay -- at least for awhile!

life lately

2011-03-27T03:28:00.000-07:00

Well, I've realized that I so often blog about what's happening in my heart and the journeys that God is taking me on that I've failed to write about the events of everyday life.

So, here's a little more of the nitty gritty's for life as I've known in throughout the past few months. Work has been so, so good. I fall more in love with the world of counseling everyday. It's just amazing to see the transformation that God brings through the act of processing life's events with the students. We've had alot of really tough issues come up in the past few weeks, but its those tough things that God really uses to bring healing and restoration! I love it.
In the midst of loving the job here, I'm trying to use my weekends to pursue possible jobs for next year. Currently I'm looking at school counseling positions, but haven't limited the possibilities to that. It's hard though to walk through full days here and still find time to write cover letters and do job searching. But, little by little, I'm taking steps.
I've actually found myself caught up (and loving) 2 small groups -- one that I've been blessed to be part of for the past year, but now am mostly finding myself serving by teaching the kiddos each week. The other is a new group of some amazing people I'm blessed to call friends, for which we are going through a Bible study by Tim Keller called Gospel in Life. Challenging, but so so good! This week is my week to host, which means everyone will pile over for dinner at 6pm (I'm cooking fajitas!) and then we'll study and discuss after that.
The past few weeks I've found myself both excited and exhausted with teaching cooking for both my College Prep students (about 16 seniors who I teach 3 times a week) to help them learn basic recipes and healthy cooking tips, as well as co-teaching an after school cooking class for 6th and 7th graders, just for the fun of it. Wow, I like the idea of teaching it, but the work of planning, shopping, hauling stuff to and from the school on my bike (pots, cutting boards, etc) is pretty wearing. It is fun to get to see the students awe at the things they learn. I demonstrated how to crack and egg (yes, they requested to learn this) and everyone went "oohhhhh" all at the same time when I did it. Ha, so fun. Who knew that cracking and egg could be so enlightening! My dear friend Chiara is helping to teach the after school cooking class, and she is an amazing cook. I always feel a bit intimdated by her kitchen wisdom -- mine is pretty limited.
I actually got to do a fun little weekend getaway with Chiara and her hubby, Jonny a few weeks ago. We just went to this quaint little town in North East Thailand, right on the border of Laos. It was such a fun adventure. Jonny and Chiara are such fun friends and we had a ton of fun just being goofy and be-bopping around the little town of Nong Khai on bikes, eating lots of good food and stopping here and there. We did rent motos one afternoon, and I was a little worried about my driving skills since I haven't had alot of practice with them, but once we got going, I remembered how much I loved driving the little scooters. We ended up riding that afternoon and then much of the day the next day, out into the country side, just enjoying the open road. I must say, I get to live in a beautiful country. The rice fields were alive with brillant green color, and the Thai farm homes, were so spectacular.
I also did another little getaway a few weeks before that to a nearby national park, which was also so fun. Its actually only a few hours from the city, so we did a little road trip, which I haven't done in awhile (usually we take a bus or plane to get around). It was so fun to just have the windows down and music to sing along to at the top of our lungs.
Which, I am so excited to get to do more of in just a few short weeks. In 6 days I will be boarding a plane to Australia for about 5 days on an all-expense paid trip I won from a university there, with the stipulation that I visit the university and encourage my students to attend there. After that I will hop over the New Zealand where I'll meet up with 8 fabulous friends (many of whom I spent Spring Break with in Nepal last year) for 6 days driving around the south island. We just did a little last minute planning this afternoon, and wow, I am so excited. I'm just ready to get this week over and let the adventures begin.
Oh, and on the note of Nepal, I got a request from the Trust Home there that I get to parter with (and which we visited last April to meet the "family") for laptops that could be of use for the kids who live there, as there seems to be rising need for internet access for their schooling, etc. so I'm pretty sure that at the end of this year, I'm going to say goodbye to this little Toshiba of mine, and hello to a Mac. If that does come to be, I think this Toshiba (which I'm realizing just might need a name, as we've had so many great moments throughout my years here in Thailand) will head to Nepal. How cool would that be? Letting little Shiba (yeah, I just decided that's her nickname) head to be part of the activity at the Trust Home in Polkara!! Wahooo! I love it!
Well, here's a few pics from the adventures I've mentioned. Stay posted for more on the journeys to come from "down under"!!

a lent that overflows

2011-03-20T08:08:00.000-07:00

So, I began to think about lent a few weeks before its arrival. Should I give something up this year as I have the past 2 years? The purpose of such was the give up something that seemed to grip my heart and thoughts more than it should and in so, to point my heart toward thinking and desiring God in a greater way. Almost immediately the idea of giving up dessert came to mind.
And almost immediately my heart went into defense mode with the justification that dessert really isn't that big of a deal in my life to need to give it up.
But, as I let the thought simmer a little, I began to accept the fact that it would be difficult to give up a sweet something that I desire at the finish of most ANY meal. It doesn't have to be anything huge, but at the finish of both lunch and dinner I don't feel complete until I've had a little chocolate or other sweet. Something as small as a Hershey's kiss or two will do the trick, but if I don't have something of the sort I find myself distracted with the longing for a sweet treat throughout the afternoon or evening. So, I was challenged by my housemates to not only lay something down, but to pick something up in its place.
At first I didn't really know what the "pick up" might be, but God quickly brought the realization that this idea of longing for just a little something else is underwritten throughout so many areas of my life. At most parts of my day, instead of finding myself enjoying the richness of what is or what I do have, I find myself longing for a little somethign else, just a "taste" of what's on the other side of the fence or a longing for a little something sweeter, and therefore I let dissatisfaction rule my heart so often. That was exactly it - God asked me to give up desserts and to instead choose to take up satisfaction at the end of a meal, which would require me to instead find rich satisfaction at the great food I did get to enjoy as my satisfaction and in such to choose to make this a practice for the rest of my life to. Rather than letting myself chase after longing of what could be or what I don't have, I want to take up the satisfaction of deep enjoyment for all the things I do have or get to experience.
It's been so liberating, this richness I've found within the choice of satisfaction in the midst of longing. It's not that longing has dissapeared, but within the longing there is a choice to let that overtake my heart and mind and be the driving force (which if not fed will lead to deep satisfaction) or instead to take a good look at all that is and to choose the breathe deeply of the fullness of life as I know it.
Oh,the season of lent. Who knew that it would hold such great stimulation for growth!

the job search has begun

2011-02-26T17:26:00.000-08:00

yep, that's right.
As scary and overwhelming and exhilarating as it might be, I let the process begin to unfold yesterday afternoon. So far, that's included a google search for international schools in various areas throughout the US (which is not what I was thinking toward, but I felt the Spirit stirring toward this as I started the search) as well as some general counseling positions on a job posting website.
I also started to update the portfolio, which I haven't touched for a few years, so its interesting to look back through my philosophy for education, resume, etc and to smile at where I've come in the past few years professionally.
Yeah, so it's a start. I don't doubt that there's still much to come in this process of stepping forward, but I'm gonna try to be intentional in listening to the Spirit for good guidance as I walk through the process -- which makes things a whole lot less stressful and a lot more exciting!

Galatians 5:25
Since we live by the Spirit, let us keep in step with the Spirit.

let the countdown begin

2011-02-13T07:13:00.000-08:00

I was talking with a great friend and mentor today who challenged me to take some time to think through all the things I want to see take place during my remaining time here in Thailand, as a way to bring closure, as well as to be purposeful with the way I choose to engage in life. I still need to really take time to process through this, but I have a few that immediately come to mind:

1. Learn all the words to the King's Anthem (which is played twice daily throughout the city, @ 8am and 6pm, as well as at the beginning of every movie showing!)

2. Visit Krabi, as it is an island that is talked of with such high regards by all.

3. Eat as much Thai food as possible. Oh, how I'll miss it.

4. Photos, photos, photos. So many things to capture, so little time.

5. Tell people what they mean to me and all the things they've taught me. These are things I think often, but forget to take the opporutnity to say.

once a child of the 80s...

2011-02-05T16:57:00.000-08:00

...always a child of the 80s.

This past week, I was sitting in my office when I noticed we had a visitor in the office area. Likely a potential parent, and it didn't take long for me to notice her brightly colored shirt atop a pair of long stirrup pant leggings. And I caught myself thinking how much I liked her outfit.
Then I realized what had just happened.
I tried to deny it, push away the like, but there it stayed. I began wondering if I might even be bold enough to sport a pair of stirup pants myself. I do remember stirrup pants being the rage. It had to be sometime in the late, late 80s or maybe the early 90s, but my recent trip to GAP confirmed their circle back into the world of fashion. And like many other fashion cycles, I'm hesitant to jump on board with a style that was part of my early years. Capri pants were one of these that I was hesitant to like. As were leggings in general. Both took my months to accept, and even longer to consider wearing myself. That's why I was so shocked by my like of these stirrup pants, because its been only about a month since I first saw them on the store shelves and already, I'm considering adding them to my wardrobe. Hmmm, maybe this is a sign of the reality of the decade I was born in.

that's the life I live

2011-01-17T06:23:00.001-08:00

Let's see...
A day in the life.
Ok, so I thought I'd describe my day to give you a little glimspe of what my typical day looks like.
5:25am - alarm goes off and I roll out of bed
5:30-6:00am - workout video (Mondays and Fridays/Tues. & Thurs. are running mornings)
6:00- shower, dressed, downstairs for some coffee and reading the word
6:45 - out the door for work
I ride my bike to work, which takes about 10 minutes.
7:00- staff devotions
7:15 - students are usually waiting at my office door with questions
8:00 - emails are all checked and I begin meeting with students
10:00 - meetings or class
11:30 - so hungry. grab lunch in the school cafeteria or go out to nearby restaraunt
12:30 - lead student groups during student's lunch break (i.e. study skills, overcoming peer pressure, etc.)
1:15 - lots of paperwork to keep everything in order and get ready for tomorrow
2:20 - classes end and students flood my office
3:45 - I leave the office.
My afternoon/evening changes by the day.
Monday is flexible. Often dinner with friends or running errands. Thai lessons on Tuesday. Wednesday's I go for a swim and sometimes out for a movie because its discounted on Wednesdays. Thursday night brings roommate dinner. Friday is small group night.
9:30p.m. - begin to wrap up the day and head to bed.

white christmas, thailand style

2011-01-08T01:41:00.000-08:00

These are some of the pictures from Christmas with my sister, Jenn and her husband Curtis and their two boys, Dawsyn and Brayden. We celebrated on this side of the world, including an adventureous trip to the beach for Christmas Eve!

entering 2011

2011-01-05T23:08:00.001-08:00

We are now 6 days into the new year and I haven't even hardly thought about the idea of new year's resolutions. I am a "resolver" -- way more than just once a year I find myself resolving to make changes to improve or achieve certain goals. Often such "resolutions" come with a change of some kind. Life as an educator brings natural seasons, the start and end of a school year, and four distinct sections of the school year.
Some of the resolutions stick and some don't, but I guess I'm more prone toward the saying I often heard during my days at LU: "If you don't aim for something, you'll achieve it everytime." And so, I'm resolving to resolve for this 2011 year, and whether or not they stick, at least I have something to aim for!

A Week and Its End

2010-11-20T17:57:00.000-08:00

It's crazy that I can love two things so much -- the work week and the weekend -- but I love them so differently. I love the purpose and sense of accomplishment that a work week brings. I love the routine that's required. I love the people I get to spend time with day in and day out in the office. I love getting to connect with the students and give everything I can to help them. I love the feeling of weariness as I crawl home from work on Friday night after a good week of work. I love the rush and deadlines. I love being a professional. I love the way my job creates a desire to keep learning and growing. Yep, I love the work week.
Oh do I love the weekend too... but in such a different way. I love the way I get to make my day anything I want it. I love hanging out and doing alot of nothing. I love the spontaneouty that comes with weekends. I love the flexiblity of having little to no agenda. I love lazy, hazy mornings. I love getting to do fun projects. I love being full of energy. I love late night phone calls to friends back home. I love a good to-do list full of things that really have no purpose other than pure enjoyment.

Wow, it's a divided love. Every Sunday night I face a similar feeling of dissapointment that the weekend is over. Then everything changes when I walk into the office on Monday morning and start into the usual and my heart is filled with the excitment of a work week. I think this is such a picture of the intentions God shared with us in His example of 6 days of work and rest on the seventh. We're created beings who are absolutely finite and dependent on an infinte God. When we chose to submit to that, we find that life is good, in the midst of the balance between accomplishment and downtime. The doing and the being -- as my roommate would say, these two make a "killer combo".

all it took was a good laugh

2010-11-13T02:52:00.000-08:00

I've had my "intent to return" form sitting on my desk at work for several weeks now. I remember the day I found it in my mailbox outside of my office last month. It had been one of those days -- you know the days I'm talking about, where everything seems to go wrong and emotions are running ragged -- and I remember picking up the brown envelope and knowing exactly what it contained, yet thinking, I can't deal with this right now. I think deep down I already knew what my decision concerning the issue of whether or not I planned to renew my contract would be, but in the midst of the current craziness of a stressful week for life in general, I didn't want to have to think about the long term effects of such a decision. Later that day I got home and pulled the big brown envelope out of my bag and realized I couldn't avoid it forever, so in the reality of that I opened the flap and pulled out what I expected to be my "intent form", filled with anxiousness about the weight that this decision held for either path I might choose. And all the anxiousness crumbled in a moment of great humor when I realized that this was indeed an intent to return form from work, however it was not MY intent to return form. Instead the envelope that was labeled and given to me actually contained the intent form for my secretary. The slight mistake actually made me laugh out loud because it was as if God was saying, "take a breath dear child...and not just a breath...relax and take joy in this...YOU don't have to worry one bit because I hold your future in my hands." Just like that, I realized that the decision wasn't really mine to hold. As I walk with God and submit to the Spirit's leading, I can have freedom to just enjoy the ride.
So this week after much prayer and some guidance from wise mentors I feel like I'm ready to step forward in this decision about my plans for next year. I still feel a little hestitation about the whole thing whenever I think about the nitty gritty's of the how's and what's that will come with this decision, but then I remember the gentle and hilarious reminder that God gave me in the contract confusion and I take a deep breath as I get excited about all the adventures that God has in store for what's to come.

fill 'er up!

2010-11-04T06:41:00.000-07:00

Have you ever seen that movie, Yes Man?
Yeah, I'm that guy. Except you can just call me yes woman. I try to spend some time each weekend mapping out my "to dos" and various involvements for the week, and somehow, in those restful, worry free weekend moments, everything seems desirable and exciting. Teaching a scrapbook class? Sign me up. Book club?? Sign me up. Catching up with an old friend who's in town?? Sign me up. A Christmas party for an amazing women's outreach ministry?? Sign me up. Making dessert for the upcoming party?? Sign me up. Protoring a test for a little extra cash? Of course, sign me up. And just like that, my planner is brimming, and my every moment is not just full, but overflowing with commitments. And so I try to do it all. But somehow I forget that I have a full time job, am training for an upcoming marathon, and still need to make time for loving people well. I remember once hearing a speaker say that we like things full -- a full closet, a full wallet, a full refrigerator, a full stomach, and yes, a full schedule. How true this is. I'm a maximizer. I'll do whatever it takes to mazimize whatever it is that is before me. And yet, this is not always a great thing when it comes to trying to squeeze too many things into my day. I often have to remind myself that I can do it all, but if I want to do things well, I must limit how much I commit myself to. God really opened the door for me to spend a little time sharing with some gals I mentor about the idea of rest and how much we need to choose this in our lives. And as I spoke, I knew that I was the one more in need of the reminder. So I'm anticipating a much needed Sabbath day this weekend, and in that, to be reminded that I am fully dependent, and completely reliant on a power that is far greater than myself. The one who does hold the world together.
And in that, I can rest.

2010-10-18T07:19:00.000-07:00

last week was a bit of an emotional train wreck. kind of like the rain that kept falling, I felt like my heart just felt dreary all week. questions of purpose were so present. misunderstanding seemed to cloud the reality around me. but in the midst of it all, I just kept hearing God lead me back to the truth of John 10 and His tender words reminding me, "I am the Good Shepherd". yeah, the good Shepherd. I'm just His sheep who listens to His voice and knows that He is trustworthy. I can trust Him to bring good things. I heard it over and over.

I am the good shepherd; I know my sheep and my sheep know me— just as the Father knows me and I know the Father—and I lay down my life for the sheep.

and in the midst of the fog and gloom and seemed to overwhelm my heart, there was a deep satisfaction that knew I have a Father who is good. kind of like the rainbow that comes -- beauty in the midst of the pain.

and the clouds did break. This past weekend brought alot of clarity for what's going on right now, and some glimpses at what's to come. not just a good God, but a Shepherd that knows me and leads me.

raindrops are falling on my head

2010-10-16T03:41:00.000-07:00

Hasta la vista. Sawadee. Chao. Adios. Goodbye.
However you choose to say it, I'm ready to wish the rainy season good riddance. I wish it was ready to do the same for us. It's been raining steadily for 2 days now...sometimes just a mist, sometimes a steady downpour, but it just keeps coming. Thankfully its been a light enough rain that it isn't overwhelming the drainage system and repeating the flooding we had last October, but it is still an annoyance. Rain is a very realistic part of life in the tropics for a third of the year. The rain rolls in around June, and usually begins to taper around October, with the worst of it usually coming in the last few months. It makes getting around difficult, and the muddy streets often create nasty shoes and clothes from walking. The Thai people seem to keep the sabaay, sabbay ("no worries") attitude, but the foreigner frustration came out in my this morning. For the 3rd time this week I awoke with plans for a morning run, and was met with the sound of rain. Tuesday I changed my day around a bit to squeeze in an afternoon run instead of the usual morning miles. Thursday I just accepted the reality of the light rain and gave up the usual route because I didn't want to tromp through the flooded streets, embraced the boredom, and so I just ran laps around the streets in my little neighborhood. This morning however, I needed to get some mileage in to keep on pace for marathon training and headed to the park. It didn't take long to realize that my socks were soaked, which is the worst feeling for running. By the end of the run, I didn't really care anymore. I was soaked to the bone and sloshing through huge puddles, and that's when I hit the end of the rope. Rain, Rain, Go AWAY! But, they do say that the more rain we get, the longer and cooler the cool season will be. That doesn't sound so bad, so I guess all the rian might be worth it.

this is what it's all about

2010-10-08T03:09:00.000-07:00

Right now "Single Ladies" is blaring throughout my house and the voices of teenagers are abuzz everywhere. It's a Friday, which means 30 or more middle schoolers will be hanging out at our lovely house. Friday Fellowship is all about connecting Middle Schoolers from our school and community with each other and ultimately with God. It's things like this that remind me -- this is what it's all about.
I usually meet with a small group of girls once a week during their lunch break to talk about life and encourage each other. Yesterday only one of them showed up as the others were absent or had other responsibilities and couldn't come. But how amazing it was when I simply asked the one who had come, how are things going, and she was just really honest about how hard it was to find a way to do things well and yet not become overwhelmed in the process. We got to spend the next 30 minutes talking about the reality of how we are dependent beings, that have the opportunity to interact with an all-powerful God. And it was then that I was reminded -- this is what it's all about.
Last weekend I got to go for a great run with some old friends, and also got to meet a new friend who has a similar passion for life and running! We ran and chatted about nothing and everything, and the plan is for us to spend many more moments like this, running side by side, because we're going to train for a marathon together. The great conversation was exciting -- the running partner was an overwhelming gift I've been hoping for. I've been given life abundantly and now I get the chance to share that with a new friend. I couldn't help but be reminded -- this is what it's all about.
Everyday in this country holds questions of what in the world am I doing here and desire for purpose within the calling God has given me to serve in Bangkok and at ICS. But thankfully, God is so faithful to know that my heart is emotionally charged, and often decietful and so in that He continues to provide reminders of His great gift of redemption and His desire for us to take part in this grand adventure of knowing Him and making Him known.

did you feel it?

2010-10-05T07:41:00.000-07:00

Fellow Bangkokers...did you feel it? The twinge of "fall" that seems to have filled the air the past 2 days? The crazy heat from the past 2 weeks seemed to have finally "broke" with a cloudy, breezy day yesterday and yet another today. It reminded me of the glorious fall weather that all of my friends and family are talking about that is taking place on the other side of this great world. That nip in the air, the crisp crunching of falling leaves, fun fall activities. I do miss it so much. No there was no nip in the air, or crunch leaves, but I did see some of the locals sporting jackets this morning, and I didn't arrive at work needing a shower from the sweat I worked up on my 7 minute bike ride. It made me want to grab a chai latte and sit outside enjoying a great book, which is something I don't say too often here! Hot drinks and sitting outside are two things which rarely go together in this tropic world. It was a fun day, filled with adventure -- hosting a parent meeting at work, meeting with my LifeGroup (3 sweet 11th grade girls), a fun game of Sorry, a great yoga workout afterwork, and some delicious moroccan chicken for dinner with my friend Heidi (recipe to come, compliments of my lovely friend Chiara who is an amazing cook. You must try this one, it is so delicious!)
I'm getting very sleepy, but still need to book hotels for an upcoming trip to Malaysia and Singapore for our October break. Can it really be only 3 weeks away now...where have the weeks gone?

the danger of the embrace

2010-08-28T17:44:00.000-07:00

Some very well stated words from my beautiful friend Holly. Check it out:

part 1

part 2

a room full of passion

2010-08-27T04:04:00.000-07:00

Last weekend I was blessed to hang out with some old friends, and to meet a few new ones as well. As we sat with conversation buzzing, I couldn't help but be overwhelmed as I looked around at the amazing representation of connections that the room held.
Some dear friends who have committed themselves to living in a slum community, building intentional connections and empowering people through love and truth.
A friend who serves with an organization that provides outreach and employment to women in the sex trade.
An amazing family who are passionate about loving the Khemi refugees living in Thailand on the streets, scraping by in whatever ways they can find.

I smile at the thought that we lead such different lives, but are all connected with one purpose -- to share the truth of Jesus Christ and His amazing redemption story in this great city. I am excited that I get to play a part in this great adventure.

a stirring of fear

2010-08-14T20:08:00.000-07:00

A few days ago I was sitting at a coffeeshop, looking out the window, as I watched a motorcycle with 3 teenage girls riding, get sideswiped by a car who turned into them. The motorcycle fell, but thankfully all 3 girls walked away with just some bad road burn and bruises. It was one of those moments when my heart caught inside of me and I was stunned for a moment. Stunned at the fact that I just watched that happen and was helpless to do anything to stop it. Stunned that the reality of an accident is that close at hand. Stunned by the thought that I rarely think about the harm that could become me as I ride in public transportation of all kinds -- motorcycles, taxis, buses.
I've jumped on a few motorcycles in the past few days and have found that I'm a bit more fearful of the close calls that are all around as we weave in and around Bangkok traffic. I have started to wonder if this hesitancy comes from wisdom or fear. I think that knowing the dangers that could result from a choice or action are important, but living this life of security in our great God does warrant some differnt thoughts. In the same thought of "is this wise" I also find a small part of my heart saying, "do you trust me?" I think that trust is a huge piece of the puzzle in daily life. Death is emminent. I don't want to act like I can protect myself from it. I must choose to trust that as I chose to walk in wisdom, ultimately God is my shield and help. In Him alone I will trust.
I'm taken back to a verse that I clung to a few years ago, and seems so applicable to this bit of fear that has beset me now. I think this is Psalm 64:
Some trust in chariots, and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the Lord our God.

the quest for peace

2010-07-28T02:53:00.000-07:00

My week has been spent learning about Thai culture and history, a requirement for all of us in the world of international education here. Alot of what we are learning I already know from "the school of hard knocks" during my time here already, but I was so interesting to learn more about the world of relgion and Buddhist beliefs in Thailand. Here's a bit of what we learned:

Relgious Beliefs Statistics
Buddhism - 94.6%
Islam - 4.6%
Christianity - 0.7%
Other - 0.1%

Karma does not necessarily mean past actions. It embraces both past and present deeds. Hence in one sense, we are the result of what we were; we will be the result of what we are. In another sense, it should be added, we are not totally the result of what we were; we will not absolutely be the result of what we are. The present is no doubt the off spring of the past and is the present of the future, but the present is not always a true index of either the past or the future; so complex is the working of Karma.

The primary idea of Buddhism is the avoidance of suffering.
What is suffering? Suffering is feeling restless, angry, frustrated, sad, lonely, etc. when we find thing(s) not to be the way we want it/them to be, crave for and cling to things which are impermanent and do not belong to anyone.
What is the cause of suffering? We suffer because we fail to realize or acknowledge true nature.
How can people be free from suffering? The desire is extinguished (then you experience true peace).

found this on yahoo! today

2010-07-25T01:10:00.000-07:00

10 things all single people must do before settling down:

1. Travel alone. Whether you’re trying to find your way through the Paris Metro or the London Underground, haggling over a painting in Mexico or choosing where to bed down in the Badlands, traveling by yourself builds a confidence you simply can’t get any other way. In an unfamiliar place, you have to make decisions by yourself, for yourself every day, which will build a self-reliance you’ll always treasure — even when you become part of a twosome.

2. Wallow in the ache of a broken heart. Oh, the pain. The agony. The pints of Ben & Jerry’s in front of the cable TV. Yep, getting dumped is beyond awful, but guess what? It’s the only way that you’ll develop the empathy you’ll need to be a better partner in a relationship. Because if you’re sensitive to the grief someone else has caused you, you’re less likely to do the same to anyone else. So, consider this painful milestone a lesson in karma that’ll serve you well as you travel through your dating days.

3. Spend a weekend with a married couple your age. On lonely nights, it’s common for single folk to envision marriage as a cozy scene from a classic film or mail-order catalog. But by spending 48 hours with a real couple, you’ll learn that in between the snuggling and pet names comes growling, bickering, silent treatments and maybe even a slammed door or two before they ultimately compromise. It will show you what married life is like, warts and all, so you won’t over-idealize the two-becomes-one phenomenon again.

4. Don’t come home all night. That’s right, wild thing. Crash on a friend’s couch, take your friends up on that offer of a last-minute trip… Once you have a mate, you can’t just take off on your own without explanation. And, truthfully, you won’t want to. So if you don’t have someone you have to call and check in with every few hours, take this opportunity to check out!

5. Stand up for a cause you care about. Whether you volunteer to help register voters for the next election (why not start early?) or convince your neighborhood or apartment complex to start recycling, get fired up over an issue while you have the time to devote to it. It will remind you that while, yes, finding your soul mate is pretty important, there are other issues at stake in the world that could use your help. And besides, the big-heartedness you’ll be cultivating is very attractive.

6. Have a real adventure. Learn to fly a plane, surf some big waves, or start your own business. Give yourself a thrill by doing something just for you, just for the experience — without having someone at home worrying about you or nagging you not to. Oh, and one more gift with purchase: Think about how much fun you’ll have telling your next date about your daring experience.

7. Learn how to take care of yourself. Being solo shouldn’t keep you from cooking for yourself, so learn how to make an impressive meal for one (even if it’s mac and cheese with your own added favorite extra thrown in). While you’re at it, learn how to back up your hard drive and sew on replacement buttons. You’ll feel strong and self-sufficient — and you’ll be armed with skills to share when you are in a relationship.

8. Buy something hugely impractical just because you love it. Once you’re in a relationship, you’ll start thinking about your partner before you purchase pricey items — not just “Will he or she hate it?” but “Is this where I want to be putting my money if we’re saving for a wedding?” The single life means a single bank account and an excuse to blow a wad of cash without (some of the) guilt. So, make yourself happy and buy something you crave, whether it’s an expensive vintage movie poster or a decked-out mountain bike.

9. Develop a hobby. Learn to woodwork, play acoustic guitar, speak French, DJ on turntables, or make digital short films for fun. Of course you can (and should) still have hobbies when you’re dating someone, but your solo time is prime time to devote yourself to something that makes life more interesting for you — and makes you more interesting to others.

10. Be completely, utterly, wholly single for at least three months. Hopping wildly from one relationship to the next can do you a disservice. Why? Because you’re never more ripe for self-reflection than when you’re on your own — and the more you know yourself, the more likely you are to find someone who’s right for the real you

a heart divided

2010-07-24T17:45:00.000-07:00

I'm praying that God will overwhelm me with purpose. I think I need a firm reminder of His purpose for me here in Thailand because it was really difficult for me to get on the plane Friday morning and to head back to Bangkok. I thought things were supposed to get easier the longer I was here. In some ways, it is. My mom and I were chatting the other day and she was talking about the feeling you get when you return to a world where you don't speak the language and you are "the different" one -- and I'm finally at a place where those things aren't so difficult anymore. I speak enough Thai to feel comfortable communicating what I need to. I know my way around the city now, so it's much easier to just get in and go. It's the things I must leave behind that make the transition hard. My family tops the list. And after an amazing summer just spending time enjoying being with them, laughing and crying (and even sometimes yelling) my heart feels so divided in my return to serve here.

sweet summer memories

2010-07-24T17:32:00.000-07:00

running through the sprinkler with my nephews. sitting on the back porch with my Bible and journal. cool early morning runs and after dinner walks. picnics at the park. homemade ice cream. what a summer! I've loved every moment -- the joys of family time as we just enjoy being together. I just can't seem to get enough of it. the idea of leaving is tough - but in the reality of this sweet time coming to a close, the moments get sweeter and sweeter. this last week has brought some great late night talks with Jenn and Johana and heart-to-hearts with Jason and Curt. I feel like things were just so busy with mom and dad that I haven't gotten to enjoy them as much, but then again I'm used to having them all to myself when I visit, so of course they are a bit more distracted with 9 of us kids and grands running around the house.

2010-07-13T15:43:00.000-07:00

I don't really know what to do with it, but I like it...this little 5 letter word spelled "b-o-r-e-d". Yep, that's right, I said it. And, although the summer is zipping by and most of my days are full to the brim, I have found myself having occasional moments of boredom here and there. I've had to remind myself how to slow down. It's weird to not have a forever long to-do list everyday, but also very nice. I've had so much fun just enjoying being...being with my family, being "Aunt Kristi" with my 4 very cute nephews, being in a small town, being a loved child of God. I'm starting to feel the crunch of only having a few short days left before I'll head back to the daily grind of life in Thailand, but I'm gonna just try to savor each moment I have.

parties and other gatherings

2010-05-29T18:09:00.000-07:00

It seems that there are two main themes for my life these past few days...
End of the year parties/gatherings and great food.
I can't complain about either of the two, since both are pretty amazing.
Let's see -- Thursday night was the end of the year staff banquet for work, Friday I had the day off, so decided to join some friends for cooking class, taught by our dear friend (and amazing cook) Martina. We made some awesome dishes that I will certainly be making again. I'll try to post the recipes soon. Then small group Friday night was "pot luck" dinner night. Last night was Martina's birthday party, and she cooked, so of course, a great dinner once again. Today is a goodbye lunch party for Rin and then Lebanese food for dinner to celebrate a friend's birthday.
Usually as I prepare to head back to the States, one of the things I start to dream about is all the great food I'll get to enjoy, but I've been quite satisfied with all the amazing meals here, so American goodies aren't quite as tantalizing. But, there are some things I'm excited to get to enjoy this summer: greasy Mexican food, burgers and brats, and Panera bagels are topping my list.

the glory of life in the tropics

2010-05-05T08:16:00.000-07:00

it doesn't ever seem to lose its wonder, this fact that I live in a place where fruit grows in abundance. it is always mango season that brings the excitement alive again in my heart. i'm not sure if I even liked mangoes when I had tried them prior to moving here, but that's quite likely because a there's nothing like a fresh tropical mango. one afternoon a few weeks ago I decided to snap a few shots that give a glimpse at what I mean by "fruit in abundance". these are just a few of the fruit (mangoes, starfruit and pomegranates) and flower trees that grow in the little postcard yards throughout my neighborhood. and we certainly benefit from all their goodness. we've been given mangoes galore and just this past week some friends brought over bananas from their backyard banana tree. and buying fruit is so, so cheap. it makes for a great snack anytime and any place. fruit is for sale on every corner. and there are usually street vendors that walk up and down the streets selling fruit right out of their carts. pineapple and guava are usually my top two picks. and right now mangosteens are in season so we're eating them like crazy (no pictures of mangosteens though).

the struggle between ideal and reality

2010-05-05T03:51:00.000-07:00

It was a nice thought...my last blog said something about making it my goal to blog everyday for a week to make up for lost time, and now it has been over a month since that post without a single update. Yep, that seems to be how it goes sometimes. The idealist in me screams out to set high goals and expect to do it all. I have found that the "yes" woman in me is most alive just after a great cup of coffee. All it takes is that little jolt of caffeine and I'm ready to conquer the world, and so I commit to anything and everything. Then reality sets in and I realize that the super woman inside of me is a little less passionate after a full day or week. Suddenly reality sets in and I come face to face with the decisions of my idealistic self. It's at this point that realistic me sets about picking up the pieces, which often consists of humbly admitting that I am finite and cannot do it all and making adjustments as needed to live within my abilities. And so, the reality is that April was a month full of adventure. I did alot, but couldn't do it all. I spent the first week getting to know a friend of a friend who was in Bangkok for the week, and quickly became a friend as we took in the sights and sounds of Bangkok together. And SongKran break finally made its appearance, which meant a trip to Nepal to enjoy 10 days trekking and relaxing with 10 other dear friends. We were amazed at the beauty that surrounded us as we stood among huge mountain peaks and hiked through valleys and forests. It was an absolutely perfect trip. The simplicity of life, surrounded by nature, sharing life with amazing friends. You'll have to check out pictures on my photo blog. But, as with all good things, it did have to come to an end and so we returned to life here in Bangkok. There is something to the craziness of travel and living out of a backpack or suitcase that makes a person realize how good it really is to be home. It's been an exciting few weeks back. It started with some crazy stomach troubles upon my return, which had me in bed for a few days. Then this past week has held some fabulous birthday fun as we celebrated my roommates 30th birthday (including a huge birthday bash and seeing YoYo Ma in concert!) Today is a day off from work for a national holiday and then next week I'm off to the beach for a week with the Senior class.
A friend recently gave me a copy of the book, The Pursuit of God by A.W. Tozer. It was long ago that I fell in love with this great God of mine, but reading this book (which is so clearly paints the picture of who God is and His desire for our relationship with Him) has made me fall in love all over again. I can't fathom why He has chosen me to receive His amazing love, but I am so glad He did. This journey of life in the Spirit is truly overwhelming, and it's exciting to imagine the adventures still to come...

where does the time go...

2010-04-02T22:24:00.000-07:00

I'm the first to admit ... I've been oh so horrible at keeping this blog updated. My goal was once a week minimum. I've missed that by far. Life has been full to the brim (sometimes a little overfull, at which I usually break down and begin to wonder what in the world all this craziness is about) but I've had some insanely great reminders lately of the bigness of our God and the smallness of our little worlds and in that I find my purpose. So, I keep running the race.
My goal is to make up for lost time here and my new goal is to blog at least once a day for the whole week. I have so much to post (because although I'm not posting much, I do often find myself thinking "oh, I wanna blog that"). I have a great update to post about more crazy bike adventures as the bike saga continues...
Right now I am waiting on some amazing Jewish bread (I think its called Challauh) to rise before we bake it. My roommate, Kim and I tag-teamed the bread making/kneading this morning so we could bake up some of this fabulous bread that she made last month. We're going to a fun neighborhood Easter dinner tonight and providing the bread, along with some fig preserves that my lovley friend Lori sent my way, all the way from America. We also want to bake a few extra loaves to give out to our neighbors, who we realized recently we have not taken the time to really get to know other than the quick hello/goodbye as we pass by in our busy schedules. A sad reality for sure. One of the things I loved so much about my little apartment last year was how often I got to see my neighbors and chat with them, or eat they're delicious Thai cooking. Living in a house is fabulous, but the fact that we have fences and gates surrounding us, it does hinder the neighborly interaction. So, this Easter we want to share some love in our MooBaan (thai word for neighborhood). Recently I've been spending some time studying both Mark and Luke and just can't seem to get enough of this crazy love and life of Jesus. He lived the daily grind, but didn't settle for the grind of the day. He was constanly looking for opportunities and loving people. I want that so much, but I know I'm far from that. Thankfully I serve a gracious God who's mercies overflow afresh every morning. I've been working on adding to the 101 in 1001 project. I'll try to post pictures from each adventure this week when I add the posts. What a fun quest this little "project" is. It just keeps me on my toes to take advantage of new things that cross my path. It's easy to get stuck in a rut, but there's something about taking the road less traveled...there's always the unknown ahead that keeps you guessing. I treasure the words from Dr. Falwell who once said "For some people, the memories that lie behind them are more exciting than the adventures that lay ahead of them...I don't want this to ever be the case for me." Dr. Falwell, I agree. Memories are gifts that I treasure, but I don't want to become engrossed with what was. What is yet to come is what makes life worth living.

how we rrooooll

2010-02-13T17:25:00.000-08:00

I would have once told you that Bangkok is not a bike riding city. The sidewalks are lined with food vendors, the traffic is out of control, the streets are rough and dirty. There is the occasional bike rider here and there, but in general the words riding a bike would more likely refer to a motorbike than a pedal bike (in Thai, the word bike only translates to refer to a pedal bike. You use a completely different word to describe a motorcycle).
My opinion has changes since moving to my new part of town. My little neighborhood, with its bumpy roads and food vendor filled streets, is a bike riding society. Although we live right along a major highway, where almost no one would dare to ride a bike, all the little side streets throughout the area are filled with people riding bikes. Riding to work, to the market, to the park. Even just riding for fun. Bike riding is a way of life. And so a few months after moving in, I joined the bike riding frenzy. Some friends from work who own a motor bike that they ride everywhere, offered for me to use an extra bike they have since they don't need it. And I took them up on the offer. Little did I know how important these two wheels would become for me. I have now purchased a chain so I can lock my bike when I need to park it somewhere and I also added a basket to the front, to carry all my neccessary items to/from my destination. I still haven't come up with a good name for my bike, so if you have any ideas, I'm open to suggestions.

** pictures to be added soon **

to be called "Miss Kristi"

2010-02-06T18:56:00.000-08:00

If you would have told me that counseling requires a foundation of relationship and trust, I would have wholeheartedly agreed. And so I spent so much of my fall semester as Miss Kristi, the new school counselor, yet felt very disconnected from many of the students. I didn't know them....they didn't know me....the trust and openness was missing. How great it has been to start this semester without this wierd disconnect. And oh how a weekend away with the students on the high school retreat brought an even greater connection. Life is always busy in the counseling office, but the past few weeks have been different. Deeper issues have been revealed, heart-to-heart talks have taken place. The students aren't the only ones who benefit from all this. My heart is challenged and filled from these conversations also. Yet I have also realized how greatly I need our BIG God because its often way more than I can handle on my own.

empty casket

2010-01-30T17:17:00.000-08:00

a world full of fear
pain all around
yet here we go again
round and round

day after day
don't make a sound
in deep hurt and grief
we stay so bound

hide it within
play lost and found
smile all day
like a top fully wound

yet it's not a game
heartache will pound
until on its throne
hopelessness is crowned

justification begins
lies and shame will mound
until we'll unveil
what is buried underground

what we'll do for the thrill -- 2 of 101

2010-01-29T01:50:00.000-08:00

Last weekend I spent at a resort in a national park near Bangkok with 110 high school students on a retreat. We played games, we sang song, we stayed up late...and we spent the afternoon on Saturday at a fun park for extreme adventures. Most of the afternoon I spent watching as the students rolled down a hill inside a huge rubber ball, either spinning round and round, or sloshing around with water inside. I was a bit tempted to try it, but really I was hoping for another kind of thrill. I had my eye on two big rides. One of these I had tried before in my high school years was a giant swing which pulls you high and releases you for a long downward fall and then free swinging. The other, was a bungee type ride that pulled two ropes tight, then shot you skyward in which you then bounced up and down enjoying the thrill. One of the other teachers was also excited about trying one of these rides, so we convinced a third chaperone to join us and away we went. We decided the bungee was the ride of choice -- for me, mostly because it was a new adventure...and extreme ride I had never tried before. We paid our dues and strapped in. Then we were flying sky high and screaming for our lives. Wow, there's not much else that can compare to that feel of your stomach dropping (or flying in this case) as it tries to catch up with your body. I smiled from beginning to end. I only wish it could have lasted much longer.

world renowned Artist

2010-01-17T05:43:00.000-08:00

I've been deeply enjoying John Eldredge's book, The Journey of Desire and was encaptured by this particular part which pointed to the creativity of our great God:

As creation was unfolding from the hands of the Master, like wet clay on a potter's wheel, a great ovation eruptied: "The morning stars sang together and all the angels shouted for joy" (Job 38:7) But of course. He has just finihsed sculpting the islands of Greece so that their white sandy beaches perfectly rim those azure seas. Then he watered the jungles of Malaysia to sustain an exotic array of orchids, after which he painted sunsets over the Sahara and hurled the Himalayas upward, treacherous peaks scdraping the roof of the world. And he doesn't sotp there. Into the breathtaking setting of a thousand different habitats God places "the fish of the sea and the birds of the air and...every living creature that moves on the ground" (Genesis 1:28). Chameleons and caribou, porcupines and propoises. How do we begin to describe this God whose image we bear? Artistic is the only word that even comes close. Powerful, aweseom, majestic -- yet intricate, delicate, whimsical. Creative without a doubt.

This is the God we serve. And He has created us to live a life of desire, filled with creativity and passion. I love it!

Bus Fare please -- 1 of 101

2010-01-08T09:30:00.001-08:00

When I visit America I find myself in a bit of a bind that I don't face in my day-to-day of life in Thailand. This bind comes in the form of not having a means of transportation. Living in the big city, I use public transportation everyday and my only worry is what option will get me from point A to point B the quickest. My life here holds a different simplicity -- the answer to almost every transportation dilemna is found in the means of driving a car/SUV/truck. The only problem with that is I don't own one of these blessed vehicles that is relied upon so much for life to happen. Thankfully my parents were so gracious to let me zip around visiting friends and going here and there in their car whenever I needed. However, yesterday I needed to make my way from Lynchburg, VA to Washington D.C. to catch my flight to Thailand. And with a new baby being born this week, it wasn't feasible to ask for a ride from my family. So, I did what I've never done before. I bought a Greyhound bus ticket, loaded my suitcase under the bus and rode the 4 1/2 hours to our nations capital. It was such an awesome experience. There was one point where the bus driver made a very general announcement that personal listening devices should be kept quiet enough that they can not be heard by others; then a few moments later when the problem obviously persisted he firmly stated, "Ok, let's put it this way, if this isn't taken care of I'm gonna be pulling this bus over and somebody is getting off on the side of the road." I had to smile. What must it be like to be a bus driver? I'd love to try that job for just a day. I think a day might be enough, but I have a feeling it would be an eventful day full of adventure.

So, there it is. Number 1 of 101. I think this could be easy. But then again its taken me almost 2 weeks to embark upon this one new adventure. Good thing I have 1001 days.

101 things -- 1001 days

2010-01-02T13:13:00.000-08:00

If you know me at all, you know that I want to do it all. I'm that person who needs a vacation to recover after my vacation because I went non-stop. I have trouble making decisions because if I say yes to one thing, it means I'm saying no to another. And so, 2010 rolls in, and I have contemplated some possible "new year's resolutions" and have yet to narrow down the specifics of what that might be.
Just the other day, I was sitting at my friends house skimming through a magazine (oh how I love magazines...they're a bit dangerous in their power to seduce me) and I saw an article about how 2 friends vowed to try 101 new things in 1001 days. And so, then and there, we decided we'd take the challenge ourselves. So from now until the summer of 2010, I've got to find 101 new adventures to engage in. I think I'm up for the challenge.
I mean, if Julie Powell can cook her way through Julia Child's cookbook in a year, I can complete 101 new things in the next 2 1/2 years, right?

"home for the holidays"

2009-12-26T15:46:00.000-08:00

There's nothing like being home for the holidays -- and so far, I haven't missed a single Christmas with the fam! This year is no different. I was dreaming of more than just a white Christmas this year (even though, the snowflakes were falling all day yesterday!)...
Eggnog
Breakfast with Grandpa
Christmas Eve Service
Appetizers for Christmas eve dinner
Family game nights
Fire in the fireplace

Oh the joys of the holiday season. It only comes once a year.

the hard -- reality

2009-11-28T18:08:00.000-08:00

This morning, I chatted with my brother, and the difficult topic of family division came up. I am so blessed to have a family who is close at heart, but the challenge of a family who is not close in proximity. For the past few years, my siblings and parents were in 3 different states and 2 different countries, and with Jen and Jason both having families of their own, family gatherings has become nearly impossible. There is desire for all of us to be together for the holidays, but the reality of location and situation always seems to intervene with this. So once again we will spend a Christmas divided. I have yet to make final plans for travel to the States, but even with the possibility of this, Christmas will be spent in Illinois with my parents, and Curt and Jen, then I'll head cross country for a belated Christmas and New Year's celebration with Jason and Johana as we await the arrival of the newest little Wollbrink. Our hearts ache knowing that we won't all be together in one place again this year, but the beauty of this hard reality is that serving Christ has placed us in different places around the world, and the moments we do have together, are sweeter because we are secure in the hope of God's purpose and calling. So, as I told Jason, who cares if we have to celebrate Christmas in July when we are able to gather, or if we have to celebrate without the entire family in one place - whatever the case, let's do it to the hilt.

I love this quote I found by Jim Elliot about following God:
"Wherever you are, be all there. Live to the hilt every situation you believe to be the will of God."

for the love...of coffee

2009-11-20T22:40:00.000-08:00

As much as I try to avoid it, deny it, embrace it, normalize it - the truth remains. I wonder at the enjoyment of a great cup of coffee. Recently I've realized that there is alot of expectation every time I sip a cup of coffee. Whether I've made it, or am indulging in a delightful cup out and about, the first sip determines my satisfaction with the entire cup. Who wants to endure the entirety of a weak or bitter brew. And the measure of the cup happens in a moment as I analyze the coffee. For me, it has to be a rich, bold brew, a bit of cream and no sugar. The pleasure of a great cup doesn't last just while I'm drinking it, but can linger for hours afterward. And the effects of the caffeine don't hurt either. I was at a cute little coffee shop in Vietnam that proudly displayed these posters that so well describe the life of a coffee lover. They made me smile!

holiday cheer

2009-11-16T09:23:00.001-08:00

I'm excited about the holiday season. Thanksgiving is just over a week away and although its a bit crazy celebrating an American holiday, in an Asian country, its a great reason to join with other Americans and introduce other friends to the traditions of this special day. Honestly, what must people think when we try to explain that we have a holiday to focus on two things -- food and thankfulness. And some very strange foods at that. Gravy, sweet potato and green bean casserole, stuffing, pumpkin pie. You have to be a true blue American to even consider some of these edible, much less delicious.
So, in my true blue American style, I've made a pie making date with a friend to bake some good 'ole fashion homemade pumpkin and apple pies. Maybe a little strange, but its a touch of home for us.

Pumpkin Pie
1 1/2 pints vanilla ice cream
3 eggs
1 3/4 c. pumpkin puree (preferrably fresh)
3/4 c. sugar
1/2 tsp. salt
1 tsp. cinnamon
1/4 tsp. ginger
1/4 tsp. nutmeg

Preheat oven to 425 degrees. Set out ice cream to soften.
Whisk eggs and add all other ingredients except ice cream. Stir until smooth. Mix in softened ice cream. Pour into two 9 inch pie shells.
Bake for 15 minutes in preheated oven, then reduce heat to 350 degrees and bake an additional 30-40 minutes until filling is set. Enjoy

Mondays Top Ten

2009-11-16T09:15:00.000-08:00

Mondays can be rough. Today was no exception. But, today's chapel was on the topic of joy, and choosing joy in all circumstances. So, here's a list of top ten things that happened for me today:

1. Starbucks blueberry muffin and chai tea for breakfast
2. Phone call from a co-worker just checking in to see how the morning was going
3. Lots of packages -- even if they are for "work" its still exciting to get a package
4. Students, parents, study skills, chapel, homeroom. I have a great job!
5. Free shirt giveaway
6. Amazing afternoon nap
7. A good sweaty run through the streets of Bangkok
8. Spontaneous dinner plans with great friends
9. Nertz!
10. A phone chat with my dear friend Jackie.

All in all, not a bad day, even though it was a Monday. I am blessed!

2009-11-07T03:47:00.000-08:00

It was a six day work week, as I had full day of SAT testing today, and I am now home, exhausted and thankful that most weeks are only 5 days of work with 2 days for play. I've been spinning the wheels pretty fast lately.
This wheel of life keeps seeming to get faster and faster and I am just running along trying to keep up. And yet, in the midst of it all, I've spent most of the afternoon pondering the question, "Is it really worth it? All this running, am I really making a difference?" It seems that every few weeks I hit a moment where this thought runs through my head and I stop to evaluate what I'm doing and why I'm doing it; and it all comes back to this conclusion.
~Knowing Him and Making Him Known~
It's what I knew when I created this blog so many years ago. It's what I still know to be true now. If there's one thing I've learned (and am still learning) its that no matter where you are, or what you do, the only satisfaction in life comes from sharing the truth of our great God with a world that is dying without a Savior. And so, I return once again to the purpose for which I was created...and in that, I find satisfaction

pajamas 'til dinner

2009-10-15T02:43:00.000-07:00

Well, it's almost 5:00p.m. and I'm still lounging around in my pajamas. Its just one of those days -- you know, the days where you wake up, lounge around a bit, realize its almost lunch time, decide on a nap after lunch, and finally decide it's time to take a shower and get ready for the day, even though the day is almost over.

We've had some crazy flooding in the past few days. Our entire neighborhood is covered in water (including some of our house) and so we've found ourselves forced to stay home the past few days. Honestly, it's been delightful. One of my friends was talking about how stir crazy she was going, but I'm not there yet. I loved the fact that I have gotten to spend my days sleeping in, reading, having a second cup of coffee, and catching up with phone calls to family and friends who's time schedules often don't coordinate with my work days. We've also had some spontaneous community dinners with other neighbors as we all pool the food we have and head to the homes which are on higher ground. Oh, the joys of the unexpected. They really are the moments that make for the best memories!

the rains came down and the floods came up

2009-10-05T08:07:00.000-07:00

It's rainy season in Thailand -- but the word monsoon more clearly describes the daily downpours. Bangkok, however, if most certainly not known for its drainage system and so the streets regularly flood. The water was about 5 inches deep on our street the other night, with some places being much deeper than this. The best thing about it is that similar to the snowstorms in the North, the rainstorms here don't stop life from marching forward. The people just roll up their pants, or pull their feet up higher on their motorbike and walk or ride on through. It's certainly a sight to see!

sweet, smiling faces

2009-10-03T16:50:00.001-07:00

Thailand is known as "the land of smiles". Where most everything can be solved through a simple smile; where the importance of community over independence is very evident; where so often the word "caaydii" (meaning good heart) is lived out through simple acts of kindness.
Friday I spent the day at a conference for work and decided it would provide a good excuse to head to immigration to apply for a re-entry visa, since I was in the neighborhood near the location for the new immigration office. My friend Lisa and I left the conference in her car and spent quite some time searching for the address, and thought we had found the right place when she dropped me off and I assured her I would be fine, so she headed home. I soon found out that the building was not the immigration office, but rather a local police department, however the one woman who spoke English was more than happy to help me by writing directions for me to use for a taxi driver. Then, another sweet little older lady came over and the two women began conversing with each other, in what I soon found out was the offer to escort me to the immigration office by this sweet woman. We got into a taxi and exchanged some very broken Thai and English, but otherwise this wonderful woman just smiled at me and rode with me all the way to immigration, which was quite far from where I had been. As our ride ended I tried to assure her that she did not need to pay for the cab fare, but she just smiled and quickly paid the driver patting my leg and saying "you no pay, you no pay" as we exited the car.
The kindness did not end there -- after my visit to immigration and then a fun dinner out with Liz and Andrea, I headed to the bus/van stop to begin my quest to find my way home. As I was searching for the best way across town, a girl just about my age came over and began to ask where I was going, even though I could tell she was very nervous about her English. She suggested I take a bus to the skytrain and I thanked her, expecting her to head on her way, but instead she told me she would wait with me because there were two buses with the exact number I was looking for and she wanted to be sure I got on the correct one. So there she waited and talked with me for about 15 minutes with no concerns of her own until I was safely on the correct bus and headed on my way.
This is something that is rare in the world I grew to know. I have certainly met friendly people, but the readiness of the Thai people to make personal sacrifice in order to benefit others never ceases to amaze me here. Interdependence over independence. A challenging pursuit.

books i've been reading

2009-09-26T19:22:00.001-07:00

Somehow I have found myself in the middle of reading 4 great books -- which is not normally like me, as I tend to make myself finish one before I start the next. But they are all so great and so I'm jumping around, loving them all.

the streets of Bangkok

2009-09-26T19:08:00.000-07:00

If you were to join me on my daily walk to work through the streets of Bangkok, this might be a picture of what you might see:

"I see the tailor who sets up his machine in the open air on the street corner, wedged between other craftsmen and craftswomen, shoe shiners, fabric menders -- all businesspeople who eke out a living from wherever they can find a small, square space. The people here know how to manage with very little. Yet, sometimes I wonder how they make a living out of it. Theirs are lives full of burdens and chores, and they're so very hard-pressed for money just to get by. Some are forced to set up a home on the side of the road in a little shack....at the same time, there is also evident on these streets the very real resilience of the human spirit. People make a go of things with what they have. As I look from one side of the street to the other, I see those who will survive against all odds and who have learned to cope."

-- Ravi Zacharias, Walking from East to West

birthday surprise

2009-09-22T07:54:00.001-07:00

Tuesday night = roommate dinner
Today = my birthday
Roommate dinner + birthday = buffet dinner @ Dusit Princess.
Oh, la, la. What an amazing treat it was. The choices were endless, the food was superb, and Kristi and Kim were, as always, such fun company.
We dressed up and braved the flooded streets of Bangkok for our night out. And I am so glad we did. I can't say enough how blessed I am to have 2 fabulous roommates, who love God and people tremendously and challenge me in these two areas of my life.

good things in life

2009-09-11T06:19:00.000-07:00

What an amazing trip it was to MaeSot last weekend to spend time serving at a migrant school. Friday night I spent on a bus, trying to sleep as much as is possible on a bumpy ride through the Thai countryside. Saturday morning I arrived in MaeSot, a little town on the border of Thailand and Burma where many Burmese refugees come to find safety. I met up with a team from my church who were already there and we spent the day playing with hundreds of community children and some of their moms/dads who came out for a day of enjoyment. Face painting, obstacle courses, jewelery making, ice cream -- the activities were endless. And so were the smiles. Then we helped with needed additions to their little one-room schoolhouse. Sunday we joined a local church for their Sunday service and lunch there with them. Then we got to enjoy some time splashing around in the hotel pool with some children who's parents are in prison or have been abusive. Needless to say, when we left Sunday afternoon for our 7 hour drive back to Bangkok we were all physically exhausted, but inside we were filled with life.

2009-08-29T10:21:00.000-07:00

We discussed the topic of church tonight at church....kind of a funny irony when I think of it. But it was such a great discussion and one I desperately needed.
The 4 Reasons God created the church:

Reproduction {producing disciples}
Reflection {imitating Christ}
Relationships {struggling well together}
Restoration {love in the midst of the mess}

Yep, this is what the church is all about -- and I'm so thankful for this body of Christ, even if it is a bit of a mess sometimes.

wonderful weekend

2009-08-15T10:16:00.000-07:00

What a lovely Saturday -- I started the day with a run in a park nearby, followed by the discovery of a little weekend market just outside the park. Then after a refreshing shower, I headed out for brunch and Starbucks with my roommates and a few other friends. I took a lovely afternoon nap then got some things done around the house. Tonight I was excited to use MagicJack, which is an internet phone line from which I can call people in the States and they can call me. It was so fun to just chat for hours without having to sit in a coffeeshop to use the free WiFi, or where huge headphones at the internet cafe and try to end the call before my time runs out.

fact or fiction

2009-08-10T06:04:00.000-07:00

Because today was the first day of school, I was excited just to scope things out and get a feel for ICS at its fullest. Energy was high and excitement was in the air as everyone sharpened their pencils ready to begin a new year of school. Smack dab in the middle of the day sat chapel period, and I decided it would be fun to scope it out. There was a special guest, BJ Harris, who is an illusionist and quickly captured the audience (including me) as he magically uncovered the number and suit of cards from a deck with 3 students chosen at random had selected. He also took a small wooden table covered with a cloth and made it move around the floor and into the air with no strings attached. Goosebumps ran down my arms as I sat amazed and wondering just how he did these things. However, he did not stop with these magic tricks -- instead, he carefully used these illusions as illustrations of how easily we as humans are decieved. He shared the truth that when we know the truth, we can much more easily uncover lies, but without the truth we are so easily swayed. It was in this, that he uses magic to share the power of the great magician, Jesus Christ, who is the way, the truth, and the life. Some simple tricks, yet a great message. He will be entertaining us again this weekend with a full magic show and I cannot wait to see (and hear) more.

love at first sight

2009-08-08T17:28:00.001-07:00

The Irresistible Revolution/ Shane Claiborne.
It's been recommended a few times, and both of my roommates have a copy, so I decided to do a little reading this weekend. Actually, I had forgotten how much reading time living here affords you since using public transportation includes alot of time just sitting. This is the quote as you open the book -- I'm already in love with this book!

Love without courage and wisdom is sentimentality, as with the ordinary church member. Courage without love and wisdom is foolhardiness, as with the ordinary soldier. Wisdom without love and courage is cowardice, as with the ordinary intellectual. But the one who has love, courage and wisdom moves the world.

-Ammon Hennacy

ding-dong

2009-08-07T23:34:00.000-07:00

The sound of a doorbell rang through the house just a few moments ago and I quickly made my way to the front door to see who was here (until it rang, I didn't even know we had a doorbell!) Two little blonde boys stood outside and asked to pick up something for their mom from one of my roommmates. I smiled as they rode away on their bikes, these little neighbor boys who I learned lived with their family just down the street.
Neighbors who stop by and ring my doorbell to borrow something! What a lovely feeling of this being home.
I am still sitting in my pajamas just getting little things done and enjoying a quiet Saturday at home. I am still in awe of my wonderful house that I am blessed to live in with two roommates --Kim and Kristi -- who also work with me. We have several neighbors who are school staff or whose children attend ICS. I am even more excited about getting to know some of our Thai neighbors and buildng friendships with them. Thai people seem to really know how to enjoy life together. There is something about taking life just a little bit slower, that cultivates deeper relationships, often missed in the fast-pace of Western culture.
I feel as if I am starting over in some ways. Even though I am still in Bangkok, I am in an completely different community from that of last year. That is bittersweet -- missing the people and places I had grown to love so much there, yet excited about each person and discovery I find here. I am hoping to pull out the camera this afternoon to snap some pictures of my new house and neighborhood to post. I am overwhelmed with how God has blessed me, even though it will take a bit of adjustment.

ReOcurring Theme

2009-08-04T06:44:00.000-07:00

There are times in my life when it seems like God continually works on teaching me one specific thing. When I moved to Thailand last year, I became very aware of my need to trust God fully with so many areas. Some of this may have been due to the fact that I was no longer surrounded by the comforts that I had once known and had used as my security and sense of control for so long. I think sometimes God takes things away in order to really show us our need for Him. I remember last year a fellow teacher sharing from Psalm 20:7 which says, "Some trust in chariots and some in horses, but we trust in the name of the LORD our God." The power of this truth was one that I clung to throughout the year as I faced so many situations as Satan used fear and doubt to attack my faith.
I boarded the plane as I headed back to Bangkok and there it was again - the same attack in this area of trust. All I knew to do was turn back to the truth of God's word as I quoted Psalm 20:7. I think I've used the simple words of this scripture about 20 times in the last three days as the fears and doubts come my way. And everytime, it proves itself true. God is absolutely trustworthy; its up to me to choose whether or not I will trust Him alone or will rely upon my own ability, which is ever failing.

it's about time

2009-07-25T23:04:00.000-07:00

I have exciting news...I am the proud owner of a camera. Not just any camera, but my DREAM camera. A Nikon D90. When I graduated last May, my parents asked me what I wanted as a graduation gift. I asked for an SLR camera because I have always loved photography and thought it would be a fun hobby. My parents were super generous, but just gave me a check so I could go pick out whatever camera I wanted. And its taken me a year to finally decide exactly what I wanted and order it. I'm not excactly the queen of fast decision making. I've had the camera for over a month and still have absolutely no idea what I'm doing with it. But the nice things is, the camera is so amazing, you can really know nothing about all its features and it will still take great pictures. I'm going to try to post some pictures from time to time, but I have also created a second blog (I know, I know, I can't even keep this one up to date most of the time) specifically for photos. Feel free to check it out:
Glorify Photos

An Apple a Day

2009-06-29T15:09:00.001-07:00

The book of Matthew has been capturing my attention during most of my time in the Word lately. This morning was no different. Chapter 9 was where I found myself this and was overwhelmed by the truth of verses 12 & 13. What a upside down life Jesus lived…a man who came and defied most of the laws of his own people. He stood opposed to the religious crowd of his day, and openly opposed religion as a whole. One specific occasion these religious leaders were shocked to find him eating and hanging out with sinners. The only thing Jesus had to say (which seemed to shut them up) was this:

"It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have no come to call the righteous, but sinners."

Wow. I am beginning to realize that this is one of the many lessons God has been teaching me throughout the past year. For me, the life of sacrifice is a lot easier than one of mercy. I love that he includes the words, 'but go and learn' – these four little words pack a lot of power. Sacrifice is something that can be learned and practiced in safety and comfort. Mercy is one of those hands-on lessons that we only learn by going, living life with people, failing in some situations, succeeding in others. I'm a hands on learner. I do best when I'm just thrown into the ocean and told to sink or swim. Thailand has been a bit like that "sink or swim" experience. I spent a lot of time doggy paddling as I practiced mixing truth and love in my life.

~ discussions of grace ~

2009-06-26T13:55:00.000-07:00

I was blessed to spend some time with some precious sisters in Christ this past Tuesday at a small Bible study. Somewhere in the midst of our study the topic of grace came up -- we tried to share about this concept but really just came to the finalization that this is something that we can neither really understand nor put into words, yet we experience it moment-by-moment. It is this grace that I am running to again today. The grace that is a gift from a Holy and Righteous Father who knows me and yet still chooses to love me. What unfathomable grace!

"For it is by grace I have been saved!"

Survival on E

2009-06-16T21:14:00.001-07:00

The past 10 months without a car have been frustrating and freeing all at the same time. There are moments when I remember how much easier errands or getting places was when I had a car to get to and from in. But with car ownership came the frustration of the constant costs and upkeep. Registration, insurance, cleaning, engine maintenance…it all had to be done. Although for me, the biggest battle was always with the gas tank. For some reason, I was that driver who always tried to squeeze the last drop of gas out before I stopped to fill up. I have no idea why, but there was something in that challenge of going as far as the tank could possibly take me. There have certainly been more than a few times when the gas light had been on a little too long and the last drop came before I made it to a gas station to fill up. I then found myself having to call someone to come rescue me and my now stalled car.

I think that this past month, I've been running through life on EMPTY. As my year of teaching came to a close, as well as the end of my time in Thailand before heading home for the summer, I found myself running out of passion and energy in almost every area of existence – physical, mental, emotional, even relational. But honestly, I think some of this was a direct result of a void in my relationship with Christ.

Relationships take time – I've been negligent in this.

Relationships take communication – I've lacked in both talking and listening.

Relationships must take priority – and I have let so many other things become #1.

I have an old t-shirt I wear to bed that has a picture of a gas gauge and the arrow points almost directly toward the F. Tonight, I think I'm gonna pull it out as a reminder of where God wants me to live. Not in the emptiness and void, but rather life lived to the full.

John 10:10 ~ I have come that you might have life, and life to the full.

The Good ‘Ole USA

2009-06-16T21:13:00.001-07:00

I have written this statement (good 'ole USA) so many times in emails and journal entries throughout the past year. It has become my go to phrase to characterize the wonders and problems that I've grown to know oh so well from life in America. It is true that distance makes a heart grow fonder as I've found myself so excited about silly little luxuries that I had so forgotten until I lived without them these past few months. In the last 4 hours in the Detroit airport as I've been awaiting my connecting flight, I've already begun a mental list of what I had been excited about:

Drinking fountains – free drinking water straight from the tap!!
Bathrooms with toilet paper, automatic everything and hot water
English magazines (Barnes and Noble, here I come!)
Big people…its nice to feel like I'm the small one.
Understanding all that's said and helping those that don't (instead of vice versa).
Carpeted floors. Weird, I know, but something I've missed.
Sunshine outside still at 9pm, the joys of daylight savings!

in the blink of an eye

2009-05-10T07:22:00.000-07:00

It's funny how life can bring crazy changes in what seems like the blink of an eye. Just a month ago I was making plans to return to the States for the summer and start the job search for a counseling position somewhere in Illinois or Virginia. Then, I stumbled upon an opportunity for a guidance counseling position at a large international school in Bangkok and decided to apply. In what seems like a whirlwind adventure the past month has brought 2 interviews for the position and the reality that if I accept the job, I'd be signing a 2-year contract. I remember a moment when staying even 10-months seemed like forever; but now I'm nearing the end of my 10-months and it doesn't seem like hardly anytime at all. So now as I face this next decision my perspective is so very different and I am growing more and more excited about all the possible opportunities God may have for me in the next few years if I am stay in Thailand. I guess it is so true...His ways are higher than my ways...His thoughts higher than my thoughts. I may not have had this planned all along, but He did!

thailand and beyond

2009-05-04T20:52:00.000-07:00

One thing I LOVE about living in SouthEast Asia is that traveling is not all that stressful. In the blink of an eye you can make a decision to book a cheap flight or even better, a train or bus, and from there you just pack your bags and go. No worrying about where you'll stay, no planning for transportation when you get there. There's always the option of renting a motorbike for a few dollars a day, and guesthouses are on every corner in most of the cities here that can be booked for a steal.
The past month has brought a few MUCH anticipated days off from work for us. A traveling we will go! My friend Rin and I flew to Malaysia and from there took a bus to Singapore for one of our long weekends in April. Then Carrie and I took a trip to Chiang Mai, a city in Northern Thailand, for a week during Thai New Years. This past weekend was yet another 3-day weekend, and with an unexpected visit from my friend Liz, I couldn't resist planning a little trip for us to go enjoy one of the many amazing Thailand islands, Koh Samet. How much better can it get -- sun, friends, beaches and NERTZ (a crazy card game we spent most of the weekend playing). There is still one last 3-day weekend this upcoming Friday - Sunday. Hmmm...where will we go next??

what a cool picture

2009-04-10T17:29:00.000-07:00

This was included in an email from an outreach ministry here in Thailand. I thought it was an amazing way to connect the "news" here in Bangkok with the message of the Gospel which we boldly proclaim.

Today is Good Friday but [our office was] closed today. The government announced last night that due to the protests escalating and the possibility of confrontation, today would be a holiday.The news shows mobs of the "red shirts" demanding to be heard as they seize certain parts of town. Most people have plans to travel home for the Thai New Year celebrations which start Monday. The tension is rising and the mob is demanding sacrifice from the government.

This coincides with another significant event that took place over 2000 years ago when a different mob stormed the government demanding a sacrifice. That sacrifice did not bring changes to the political systems, but rather that sacrifice which we remember tonight has brought salvation, hope, and transformation. This sacrifice was the atoning sacrifice for our sins -- our Savior, Jesus Christ.

a sad reality

2009-04-09T20:00:00.000-07:00

It seems an ever re-occuring event that the 'reds' and/or 'yellows' (the two political sides in Thailand) are rioting or protesting about something. This past week, the rioting has heightened again. At first the idea of riots in our city was frightening at first, but now its become such average news that the only worry is how it will effect our lives -- airports being closed, suggested areas of town to avoid, etc.
Today however, the protesting brought about the declaration of a national holiday for Bangkok. That means school was cancelled for us -- just an early start to our week vacation next week for Easter and SongKran (Thai New Year!)

raindrops on roses

2009-03-31T01:03:00.000-07:00

Oh, I love rainy afternoons. There's just something about the storm clouds rolling in and the sky growing dark that make my heart soar. Today was one of those days. I'm sure some of the excitement over the rain was due to the fact that November - March are dry season in Thailand and it doesn't rain at all. There's nothing like the absence of something to make you realize how much you truly love it. As the sky grew dark and the rain began to fall softly on the pavement, all I wanted to do was pour a cup of tea and spend some time reading and playing piano, taking in the sweet sound of the raindrops falling and the thunder's roar.
So that's exactly what I did.
In this, I began to wonder, "why can't the storm clouds of life be just as exciting as today's rainclouds?" So often when things get tough or questions come and there seems to be dark cloud in my spirit, I forget that this too can be wonderful. I think these are the times that God simply wants me to be quiet before Him. Yet, in the storms of life is when I become loudest, crying out my fears and needs before God, and so often forgetting to just slow down and listen to the voice of God in and around me.

a first time for everything

2009-03-24T04:59:00.000-07:00

I love that life still holds surprises and little joys as I discover new things every day. A few firsts from last week:
- my first visit to a Thai country club
- my first bus ride
- ice skating on the top floor of a mall (the malls here have lots of fun on the top floor: movie theatres, bowling alleys, waterparks!)

Life is a Beach

2009-03-20T20:13:00.001-07:00

If you know me, you know that I love vacation.

The one thing I live for is that next getaway – the next big trip, a new place to visit, or even a trip back to a favorite spot.

I'll scrimp and save for months just to splurge for those few days of wonder.

In some ways these past 8-months have all seemed like one huge vacation. I've never lived in a tropical climate before, so that in and of itself makes it feel more like a vacation. There's just something about shorts and flip-flops everyday that makes life a little more wonderful.

Tonight, as I walked in the door to my apartment, I was overwhelmed with the resemblance it has to so many hotel rooms I've stayed in. One large room with a king size bed in the center, a small couch off to one side, a long vanity/desktop area, and a small bathroom off to the side. Even my air-conditioning unit is hotel-like (you know exactly what I'm talking about…one one that's right over by the window and runs a bit noisily in the background).

Life here has been filled with so many great adventures. I'm so thankful for all the fun times I've had with friends and the excitement of this city of life.

One thing seems to be the focus of most vacations: me.

Even though this time here may resemble one long vacation, I don't want the focus to be self-centered. Instead I am constantly asking God to keep my heart and mind focused knowing Him and showing people His love. It's a daily struggle. But thankfully a battle that I don't face alone.

a new favorite

2009-03-18T00:39:00.000-07:00

I love the way this song portrays God's glory.
I think something about living in a country where a monarchy exists, and a King truly does reign, provides greater power to the idea of Jesus as "King of Kings."

Found in Your hands, fullness of joy
Every fear suddenly wiped away here in Your presence
All of my gains now fade away
Every crown no longer on display, here in Your presence
Heaven is trembling in awe of Your wonders
The kings and their kingdoms are standing amazed

Here in Your presence, we are undone
Here in Your presence, Heaven and Earth become one
Here in Your presence, all things are new
Here in Your presence, everything bows before You

Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way
Wonderful, beautiful, glorious, matchless in every way

the time is short

2009-03-12T23:43:00.000-07:00

I've been pondering alot the question -- "what's next?" as my 10 month commitment here nears its end. I don't have any answers yet. I don't know if this will be the end of my time here, or if I will be back after a few months in the States. One thing God has reminded me of in such a huge way this past week, is the fact that the part He has for me here is not finished here yet. Sometimes I wonder if I've really made the impact in these past few months that I would have liked. My expectations were high when I came here. God has done some incredible things in and through me. But I had to first realize that God's ways are higher than mine. He had a very different plan in mind. He's still working!
This past week I was able to develop a few new relationships with people who I am anxious to get to know deeper and hopefully share the greatness of our God with them. Relationships are the key to the kingdom of heaven. Jesus Christ was an awesome example of that, and as I seek to walk in his footsteps, this is becomes more and more the passion of my heart. So, I will be teaching some English, eating dinner with some neighbors, and just loving people. My days here are limited, but God's power is limitless.
He is mighty to save!

oh the memories

2009-03-06T21:51:00.000-08:00

Just before I left Lynchburg and headed to Bangkok, I made the decision to buy new running shoes. I debated over the decision of buying cross-trainers which would allow me the flexibility of running on roads or trails, or buying shoes designed simply for running on flat road surfaces. My decision to buy these Brooks road running design turned out to the be the right one, considering the fact that all of my running here takes place in the middle of this great big city, often dashing through traffic and jumping over "soi dogs" (scraggly, unkept dogs that grace every corner in Thailand) as I run down the sidewalks. There's something about each pair of running shoes I own, that definitely carry some sentimental value for me. I guess its the many miles and experiences we share -- just me and my Brooks.
These Brooks have been no different. I have started to realize that the end of their life as my primary running shoes is soon approaching, as they have seen me through many a mile these past 7 months. It's hard to think about parting with them. But, I know that there is another great pair of running shoes out there that I will learn to love with a similar affection as these. These little shoes have traveled with me on my last run in Lynchburg last summer, my first run through my neighborhood here, in my marathon training, and through the 26.2 miles of my first marathon! What fun we've had.

the list obsession

2009-03-04T22:50:00.000-08:00

I like making lists.
I don't know why exactly.
Something about it just makes me feel productive. Organized. Or even just a little more focused once all my ideas are written down somewhere. All of my fellow list-writers out there know exactly what I'm talking about.
It can be a list of everything, or little random nothings.
I make a list of what copies I need to make to avoid making 2 trips to the library.
I list the things I need to remember to tell my family in the next email.
It's quite possible that I might even make a list of the things I need to make lists of.
It can bring a calm in the storm. Or it can create a storm in the calm.

Today, I spent some time making a list of things I want to get done over the weekend.
- go for a good run
- take clothes to the local seamstress
- make a much needed call to say hello to my family
- making homemade chili
- try a new Thai fruit
- finish a Bible study I've been slowly been forming
- spend some time with my neighbors Apon and Puun
- book plane tickets for my April/May vacation time!!

Oh, now I can't wait to start crossing things off!

Western Wonders

2009-03-01T19:38:00.000-08:00

My cambodia abiding friend, Carrie, flew to visit Bangkok this past weekend. When I asked if there were any specific things she wanted to do during her visit here, her answer was simple. Starbucks and Subway (two things she does not have in her city that she misses from America).
So, we spent the weekend enjoying so many wonderful Western novelties that Bangkok has to offer -- McDonalds breakfast, Subway sandwiches, Starbucks coffee, chick-flick at the movie theatre, shopping at the amazing malls. There are so many perks about living in a very westernized city. I'm so glad I got to share these blessings with a great friend like Carrie.

not what, but WHAT

2009-02-26T23:05:00.000-08:00

One morning last week I was planning to read a few chapters in Ecclesiastes (based upno a "Bible Reading Guide" I've been following), yet I couldn't seem to keep myself from reading onward, through the whole book. What awesome advice offered from Solomon -- who was granted a great amount of wisdom from the Lord. So often, I feel like I am caught in a cycle of discontentment. I find that I am not happy where I am at, so I re-evaluate my life...what I'm doing, where I am at, how I'm using my time, and I make adjustments which brings a bit of satisfaction. Yet, it doesn't take long before I am once again facing the same discontentment I did before. Reading Ecclesiastes reminded me that life really comes down to this...
Whoever you are, whatever you do, choose to do your work with your whole heart. Satisfaction is not about what we do, but rather the way that we do what we do. The what that really matters is what satisfaction we choose to focus on, rather than where or what we are doing. I know this has been a lesson that God has been cultivating throughout my time here in Thailand as I have learned alot about differences of culture, but so much more about similarities of life no matter where you are or what you do. I feel like this has been one reiterating theme that God has been working on in my life lately.
We live in one great big, imperfect world - of which we are simply visitors awaiting our true home. But while I'm here, I want to live life passionately.
A friend of mine reminded me of a quote from the movie Hitch that puts it so well:
"Begin each day as if it were on purpose."
So simple, yet so profound.

far apart -- near at heart

2009-02-20T23:19:00.001-08:00

I miss my family dearly.
So many families live near each other.
Not so with my family.
We've all chosen paths that have taken us far from each other
Whether a few states apart, or even a few countries.
And even though its hard to not be close to them,
I know that all of them are exactly where God wants them to be.
In this, my heart is at rest.

light your world

2009-02-18T16:42:00.000-08:00

I remember a moment, in the midst of my birthday celebration this last September, when I stood on top of the tallest building in Bangkok and looked out over this great city. I was excited and overwhelmed at the prospect of living in seemingly endless city.

What amazing opportunities awaited!
Will I truly be able to make a difference?

Slowly I have started to realize that just like the mouse eating the elephant, the role I am called to is to eat the elephant one bite at a time. Day-by-day I strive to make an impact, no matter how small it may be.

I am challenged by a friend, who is passionate about changing his world in monumental ways. He is not paralyzed by the big picture. Tonight he is hosting a grand art exhibit in which he will donate all the proceeds to the Bangkok Refugee Center. I am blessed to be taking part in this exciting opportunity to make a difference in a mighty way.

I don't believe that in God's kingdom, its size that matters.
His work is always monumental. We're just the vessels He uses. Our God is more than enough. All He asks is that we remain committed to knowing Him and willing to make Him known.

a splendid surprise

2009-02-16T23:00:00.000-08:00

I discovered this little Italian cafe/restaruant the other day, quite by accident. As I was searching for a cafe one Saturday morning to sit and enjoy a sweet treat, as well as their free WiFi, I stopped at a little place called NoStro. If someone was just passing by on the street, it would be easy to miss this amazing little spot. But once inside, I realized how much of a gem it was.
Plush seats, peaceful lighting, jazzy music, splendid menu.
Cute little cafe in the morning, trendy restaurant at night.
What I loved the most though was the fabulous gal who seemed to be in charge of the place. She was so friendly and had reminded me of one of my precious friends in the States. I think I'd like to get to know her better.
I stopped by again last night, just to enjoy a scrumptous strawberry frappe. I think I'll likely become a "regular."

living a paradox

2009-02-15T06:56:00.000-08:00

Today I was sitting waiting for the water taxi on my way home from church, when I began to think about the sights around me. Directly across from me were several very small home, which could easily be categorized as "shacks" located right next to a very stinky, sewage filled river. Not exactly the most desirable living situation. Yet many of these homes had beautiful plants and flowers outside their homes, little patio areas, etc. How characteristic this is of the life I live in Christ.
Our time on this earth is not really our home. We are given temporary bodies, which are daily wasting away and becoming more and more shack-like. If you take even a minute to watch the news it becomes very obvious that we live in a very stinky, and "sewage" filled world. In all of this, it is hard to really feel at home here. What a true reality that this world is not my home. I am looking forward to a heavenly city. This time on earth for all of us is short, and yet we are called to live, and live abundantly.
How can this be?
Never completely satisfied, yet seeking absolute contentment.
This is our daily struggle.
2 Corinthians 4 capture this paradox so well:

But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed. We always carry around in our body the death of Jesus, so that the life of Jesus may also be revealed in our body. For we who are alive are always being given over to death for Jesus' sake, so that his life may be revealed in our mortal body. So then, death is at work in us, but life is at work in you.... Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us an eternal glory that far outweighs them all. So we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal.
Awww...and my favorite verses promise these words (Lamentations 3):

Because of the LORD's great love we are not consumed,
for his compassions never fail.

They are new every morning;
great is your faithfulness.

I say to myself, "The LORD is my portion;
therefore I will wait for him."

check it out

2009-02-05T06:25:00.001-08:00

This is a Christmas video, but really interesting.
Watch the whole thing ~ and watch carefully!

Upside Down

a worthwhile luxury

2009-02-03T23:51:00.000-08:00

"Hi, my name is Kristi, and I am addicted to scrapbooking."

As I packed my bags to come to Thailand last July, bringing along scrapbooks and materials seemed very impractical to bring. Don't get me wrong - I love scrabooking! But, when you are trying to pack a years worth of things into two 50lb. suitcases, you quickly differentiate between necessities and commodities. Scrapbooking was categorized as a luxury I couldn't afford to include.
I quickly learned that I have a bit more free time here then I did at home and thought about how great it would be to fill some of that time with scrapbooking. Needless to say, my return from the States in January included all of my scrapbooking fun - and oh what fun it has been.
Scrapbooking my life away! Well, at least all of my Thailand memories thus far.

A Glimpse at Royalty

2009-01-27T22:54:00.000-08:00

I was blessed to take part in the Chinese New Year celebration on Monday. This is a huge, city-wide event here, and one of my friends from church invited us to watch a lion dance with her. What a cool experience! At the event, we noticed that one of the women there was obviously someone big, as she was ushered in to the front row surrounded by security officers when she arrived. Then as she got up to leave after the event, there was a huge crowd of people lined up to simply catch a glimpse or even a photo of her, as she passed by. We joined this crowd, cameras ready, for the opportunity to see this person, of whom we weren't even familiar. We did find out later that she was part of the royal family, and quite likely the princess of Thailand, who has been known to make appearances around town.
It was in this, that I felt the Spirit's quiet whisper asking, "Why don't you get excited like this when you see me moving?"
And so, I dwell on this thought. Why is it that so often God begins moving in me or around me, and I do not stand in awe, or even stop to recognize His majesty. And even at times, I'm so busy, I don't even realize He's near.

The King of Kings.

a quest for language

2009-01-26T23:44:00.000-08:00

Last night in the taxi, the driver spoke to us in Thai and although I didn't understand anything that he said, I knew he had something about the place he was supposed to take us, so I simply replied "Chai, ka" (which means, yes). A friend who was with me asked if I had understood what he said, and after I told her I hadn't, she brought up a very challenging point.
Did I even attempt to listen to what he said? Or to try to figure out any of the words I might know?
I hadn't done either.
In the first few months of my time here, I yearned to learn. I worked hard at using my English-Thai dictionary, and asking what words meant or how to say them in Thai.
Yet recently, I've grown quite comfortable with the fact that I don't know Thai. I have also begun to believe that learning Thai fluently is impossible during my short time here.
If you know me, you know that I am very competitive. It is in this competitiveness that I live in an all or nothing mentality. As the saying goes, "If I can't run with the big dogs, I just stay on the porch." And so, feeling helpless in my ability to master the Thai language, I have simply accepted the fact that I won't even attempt to understand any more than I already know.
And yet, I came here to serve and to share the love of Christ.
Learning to communicate is an important step for me to do this here in Bangkok.
I may not ever master the language, or even get past basic conversational Thai, but as Rascal Flatts sings, my quest during my time here, however long it may be, is this:
I wanna be running, when the sand runs out!

somethings just take time

2009-01-21T23:47:00.000-08:00

Even though I was only in the States for 3 weeks, it's taken a little time to readjust to a few Thailand wonders.

Cold showers.
Spicy food.
Bangkok traffic.
Work routine.

But there's just something about knowing you are right where God wants you. This is home. And you know what Dorothy says: "There's no place like home."
So, it's good to be back in Bangkok. I'm excited for that's to come this semester!

the life of "Miss Kristi"

2009-01-20T00:13:00.000-08:00

I don't think I realized that being a teacher was so hard -- until I didn't teach for 3 weeks during Christmas break. Now that I'm back at it, I have been realizing just how worn out I am at the end of a day filled with classes, and children, and curriculum. As I'm adjusting back to the normal routine, I wondered why I didn't remember it being so hard to get used to in the beginning, but I think the nervous energy of my first few weeks of teaching worked in my favor. Now that the worries of being a teacher are past, I'm wishing I had a bit of the adrenaline from the nerves. Instead, I find myself beginning to focus on the end. I don't know if this is a good thing or not, but I guess now that we're past halfway in our school year, it's all downhill from here!

resolutions for 2009

2009-01-18T04:59:00.000-08:00

It is now 17 days into the new year and I am still working on developing my "theme". Some of you may know this about you, and others may not, but each year new year, I come up with a theme statement for the year. This statement is usually short and catchy, but just something that I feel God gives me as a focus for my life that year.
This past year, 2008, was termed Passionate Discipline.
As for 2009, I have yet to come up with a catchy summarizing statement, but as I sought the Lord concerning what things I needed to focus on this year, my heart was drawn to Psalm 15 (and later Luke 6). It was at this time that I had just read a magazine article about creating a Top 10 list, and that's exactly what I feel Psalm 15 is. So here's my Top 10 List for 2009:

LORD, who may dwell in your sanctuary?
Who may live on your holy hill?

1. He whose walk is blameless
2. and who does what is righteous
3. and has no slander on his tongue
4. who does his neighbor no wrong
5. and casts no slur on his fellowman
6. who despises a vile man
7. but honors those who fear the LORD
8. who keeps his oat even when it hurts
9. who lends his money without usury
10. and does not accept a bribe against the innocent

He who does these things will never be shaken.

Trivia Fun

2008-12-14T06:57:00.001-08:00

American City Trivia:

~ DFW International Airport in Dallas, TX takes up more space than New York's entire island of Manhattan!

~ Detroit is called Motor City or Motown because it is the birthplace of the car industry. Henry Ford began the Ford Motor Company in Detroit in 1903.

~ The Chicago River is the only river in the world that flows backwards. Its flow was reversed by engineers in 1900 to prevent industrial wastes from flowing into Lake Michigan. Every year on St. Patrick's Day, the Chicago River is dyed green.

~ Marthasville, Terminus, and Atlanta are all the same city! Atlanta was formerly known as "Marthasville" after a former Governor's daughter. Before that it was named "Terminus" because it was situated at the end of a railroad. Today, it is known by its third and final name, Atlanta.

~ Chicago's Tribune Tower on Michigan Avenue was completed in 1925. Its large Gothic entrance contains pieces of stone from other famous structures such as the Alamo, Westminster Abbey, the Taj Mahal, and the Great Pyramid.

~ City Firsts:
First Daily Newspaper: Philadelphia, PA Dec. 1, 1913
First Traffic Light: Cleveland, OH Aug. 5, 1914
First Baseball Stadium: Pittsburgh, PA June 30, 1909
First Department Store: Salt Lake City, UT 1868
First Parking Meter: Oklahoma City, OK July 16, 1935
First Skyscraper: Chicago, IL 1885
First Computer: Philadelphia, PA 194

oh christmas tree

2008-12-10T17:02:00.000-08:00

Last night we had some Christmas fun going downtown to look at all the Christmas decorations in Bangkok. The malls here really go all out for Christmas. Huge Christmas trees, Christmas ornament fountains, and a life size gingerbread house. It was lots of fun to take it all in and pose for some fun Christmas photos.
But, it does seem a little strange that we were wearing shorts and tank tops as we looked at the snowy decorations.
The joys of a tropical Christmas!